


Early years

by GlowwormiK



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2018-12-05 00:30:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 33,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11566578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlowwormiK/pseuds/GlowwormiK
Summary: Haggar tells Allura why she followed Zarkon. This work only takes into account seasons 1&2!Fluff, adventures. My version of what happened 10 000 years ago. Contradicts the "quintessence zombie" canon from season 3! I attempted to write how Haggar and Zarkon became what they are in seasons 1 and 2 gradually, on their own.Any kind of feedback is highly appreciated, and I mean a n y; even a couple of words. See my policy on criticismhere. TL;DR: please criticize!  Also mytumblris always open for conversations.A short(and probably incomplete) list of differences with the current canon:Alfor is future yellow palladinHaggar's name was not HonervaShe is royalty, while Zarkon isn'tThe paladins will be differentZarkon had to take the throneDaibazaal is called Galra





	1. Allura

Allura was sneaking along the empty corridors of the main galran base. She couldn’t believe that she was doing it, but here she was, wincing after each sound. It was pure suicide, going into the heart of the Galra empire even now, with its emperor incapacitated, coming here alone, without warning her friends. But she felt she had to do this. All the time since the last battle with Zarkon, Haggar’s face never disappeared from her inner vision.  
Why would an Altean serve the Galra emperor? Who is Haggar? There were no altean traitors during the war; Allura knew it better than anybody else. And those white hair, a distinctive feature of the royal family… How could Haggar have this hair? All these questions burnt Allura day and night, until there was no other choice but to ask Haggar herself.  
  
The door opened, Allura rushed inside, holding her staff ready for battle. But the room was almost empty. A huge structure by the other end, a bed or a coffin, and a waterfall of purple light pouring onto it from the ceiling. Near it, dark and small, a slouched sitting figure, covered with a cloak. Haggar didn’t move to the sound of the opening door, more a statue of grief rather than a living person. Allura exhaled and came closer, lowering her staff. Zarkon’s face was strangely serene, burning eyes closed. Haggar near her turned her head.  
  
“What do you want?” she asked, her voice hoarse and quiet, as if she was shouting for many hours before.  
“Who are you?” There was no sense in evading the main question. Haggar giggled under her hood.  
“Oh, you don’t even know? Did you father never tell you about his sister? Not even a single time?”  
“My father didn’t have a sister! He had an older brother who died, but no sisters!”  
“Oh sure he did. Funny how he managed to purge every mention of me, though.”  
“Tell me!” Allura demanded.  
“Why?” Haggar sighed. “What will it change? You should have asked your father.”  
“Well, my father is dead! You and your master killed him!” Allura growled. “You owe me at least this explanation!”  
“I owe you nothing. But if you really want it so much, I can tell you. But I warn you – this story is not going to be pretty.”  
  
Allura took another stool and sat down near Haggar, facing Zarkon. Now they were both staring at his indifferent face.  
“Tell me everything.” Allura said.


	2. Chapter 2

When this all started, Laon, the old King and your grandfather, was still ruling in his prime. As you know, your father was the younger of the old king's children. He had an older brother, Alfred, and a sister, me. Alfred was the one supposed to become king in the future.  
What were we then? Alfred was 17, and I will make no big mistake if I say that he was an ideal prince, as you might picture them from fairy tales. Tall and handsome, skilled in riding, well-read and polite, flirtatious and a good observer. And a little on a boastful side, but this was not considered a fault. He enjoyed parties; he was charming people at diplomatic receptions. He promised to become a lustrous king.  
Back then, my name was Alva. I was only two years younger, but between me and my brother there was a gap deeper than the great rift in our galaxy. After Alfred was born, my parents desperately wanted another son to completely secure the succession line. However, my mother wasn’t the healthiest woman and it was clear that she wouldn’t be able to bear many children. When I was born, it was a heavy blow for the family, because it essentially meant that my parents won’t have any more sons. They never told it to me explicitly, but I felt the difference in how they handled me and my brother every day.  
I was considered handsome, courtlers competed in praising my looks, by I knew I was not good enough. In comparison to other girls, I found myself too small and pear shaped, my ankles too wide. In the mirror, I saw my long chin and that straight hair, impossible to braid into sensual curls... And I often compared myself to Alfred’s iconic beauty. Personality-wise, I was also a blunder for a princess: I was introverted, awkward in public, grim and prone to sulking. Although my parents did their best to acquaintance me with receptions and hunts, I never ceased hating them, and, by extension, everyone who enjoyed them. Towards puberty, my constant insecurity regarding my looks made me even more shy and irritable, because I suspected mockery behind every word.  
I learned to read early, and books became my escape from the reality, but they also made things around me seem even more unbearable. If I was free from my duties as a princess and not reading, I would play harp a lot. To be honest, I was not the most pleasant company to be with at that time. I enjoyed giving out sarcastic remarks, and my attitude toward those who knew less than I did might have been a little condescending... Almost no one of the younger generation at the castle liked me much, and I didn’t like them.   
Alfor was 8 at that time, a late child and an unexpected joy of my parents. They pampered him mercilessly, so, unlike me and Alfred, he spent most of his time freely, playing in the royal gardens and being everyone’s favourite. However, he possessed such a sunny personality that nothing could spoil him. He has this natural fairness, this keen sense of justice… He was the one in the family who I had the best relation with.  
We were all magic users, to one extent or the other, but none of us was especially good at it. Still, all of us had to control and wield it, we usually trained with each other; this made us closer to each other than we would have been under different cirsumstances.  
Coran was around, too, by the way. His father was counselling king Laon, and Coran was supposed to do the same with his heir, so he and Alfred spent a lot of time together.  
At that time, Galra was ruled by a democratic government. (oh yes, there were such times) My father made significant progress in normalising international relations with our fierce neighbours. Not only a stable peace was achieved, but he started various initiatives aimed at cultural exchange and close cooperation of our races. Among other measures, king Laon encouraged young Galra to come to Altea in hope of raising a new generation that would not be scarred by old resentments.  
That time, he arranged that a group of gifted military students from Galra were to visit us. They were all among the best of their kind - best grades, best skills. We knew they were the ones to define the future of military forces of Galra and it was therefore especially important to make an impact on them. Another reason was that Alfred should have met more galra in order to better understand them and to forge first friendships.


	3. Chapter 3

I remember the day when the galra arrived as if it was yesterday. It was a bright spring morning. We all went to welcome them: the king, the queen, both princes and me and many from our entourage. Their ship just landed, galra cadets were pouring out and immediately forming ideal lines. If only I knew the circumstances under which I will see these perfect lines of silent young soldiers again....   
Alfred said a short welcoming speech, as eloquent as ever, while I was examining the newcomers. They were less numerous then I expected, not more than 30 altogether. Those were all students of the best galran military academy, best of the best. They stood motionlessly, silently, like some weird statues. I never saw so many galra at once before, so I examined their blue skin and their jaws with keen interest. Their uniforms were soft velvet black, so dark that it seemed that they absorbed the sun. In general, to my altean eyes, they seemed very grim and very similar; I lacked colour and life about them. The only thing that refreshed their looks were shoulder ribbons almost all of them were wearing. As I read, those were meant to mark their exceptional achievements.  
I noticed Zarkon immediately, of course, even not knowing his name yet. He was difficult not to notice, standing almost two heads higher than most of his classmates. I didn't have much time to examine his face, though. Alfred didn't want to bore the galra with long speeches while making them stand in the bright sun for too long, so he wrapped up quickly and the king invited all the guests into the palace.   
The galra broke their lines and immediately turned from statues into a noisy and uncontrolled flock. It was only then that I realised how young they were, almost all them my age or even younger. Their perfect silence made them seem much older before, but now I saw a bunch of really energetic teenagers.   
Next time I found time to breathe was closer to the end of the reception, and my head was already spinning. I had hard time dealing with civilized alteans, and so many of galra closed in one room it was like a swarm of buzzing bees. I had to meet them all, going from one bunch to the other, smiling and nodding. I felt completely overwhelmed by having to memorize new names being constantly told to me and couldn't wait for the end of this torture, when my father called me to him. He was talking to the headmaster, a very fat and very hairy galra named Morrak. He was introduced to me earlier that evening and I was genuinely happy to talk to him and my father and take a break from being stared at. He was sweating heavily, but he was at least one face that didn't grin, smirk or grit teeth. I was amazed to see how freely he was talking to my father, not showing any kind of subservience.  
“Your majesty, princess,” Morrak said, „I would like you to meet Zarkon. He is one of our most promising students.” My father nodded, and Morrak pulled that tall cadet closer to us.   
Zarkon didn't look promising at all. He was one of the youngest in the group and behaved very stiff. Tall, yet thin and slouchy, he seemed neither particularly strong nor smart, his uniform was much older than that of his schoolmates, greyish instead of deep black, and his sleeves were a little too short for his arms. He didn't wear a ribbon, just a small badge on his right shoulder and was completely bald already then, too. This is his dress uniform, I though. What does the guy usually look like? I wondered why Morrak would personally present to us the one student out of thirty who didn't even earn anything special to wear on his chest.   
"It is a great honour to meet you," Zarkon said. His voice struck me as unnaturally low and monotonous for such a relatively young boy.   
"He was with the pilots," Morrak continued, "but he stopped fitting into the jet, so we found him a new area, he is now in my own old department, in military persecution." Morrak laughed, but when he spoke Zarkon's face twitched slightly and I realised that he didn't leave piloting on his own, but rather had to be kicked out.   
"It is a great honour to pursue a law career, especially in commander Morrak's department," Zarkon said, and for a second I got an eerie feeling that we were talking to a robot. The conversation stalemated, and I started to think what to say, but my father saved us. He smiled broadly.   
"I hope your stay will be as pleasant for you as it is for us."   
Zarkon bowed again.   
"It is a great honour to be here," he answered.   
Does this guy even know any other words than “honour”, I wondered.   
My father and Morrak left to oversee some other preparations, so I and the weird galra were left together. Zarkon remained silent and looked at the floor. If I were Alfred, I would have found a way to get rid of him in an elegant way, I thought. If I were Alfor, I would have befriended him. But I was just myself, so I stood there and searched for a conversation topic without any success.  
„I bore and irritate you,“ he said suddenly, making me jump, „we all do. You just want to leave and cannot find an excuse to do so. Go now, I will tell commander Morrak that we talked for a while and then other students distracted you. This will make it look like you stayed here for quite a while longer.”  
I was speechless, feeling blush raise to my face. Am I so obvious?  
„No, it is not like that...“ I mumbled  
„Of course it is. If you think that you might offend me, or any of us, for that matter, then you are wrong. We are galra, you don't have to tiptoe around.”   
„How did you know I wasn't enjoying myself?” I asked  
„You were fidgeting your sleeves almost constantly since the reception started, and you are doing it more heavily with time. When you smile, you pull your smile up with your cheeks because your mouth refuses to work. Also, when you think no one is looking, your face grows sad almost immediately. You are forcing yourself to stay here, princess.”   
I dropped my sleeves in embarrassment. Who would expect such perceptiveness from a thirteen-year-old military student?  
„Amazing, how did you notice all of that?“  
„One just needs to look.“  
His brutal honesty was unusual to me, but I felt strangely free at the same time.  
„You don't bore me,“ I suddenly said, disregarding the protocol, “you and your classmates are just very unusual and very loud. Also, it is really hot and my back is aching from standing for too long. You are not the source of my irritation.“  
„Would it help if we went outside?” he asked, „We can walk around and I will stay silent, so that you don't have to speak or smile for a while. At the same time you will appear to be in conversation.“  
This seemed like such a perfect plan that I felt I was blushing again. We left the castle and wandered off into one alley, without choosing properly. Zarkon followed me silently. Cool evening air refreshed me and I started feeling guilty. I was pretty rude before, I thought, I need to make up for it somehow. But what to ask? Let people talk about them, my mother taught me, and they will find you the most interesting companion in the world.  
„What do you galra usually talk about?” I asked and immediately felt how rude and condescending my question sounded. But before I could soften it, Zarkon answered as if nothing happened.  
“We don't do as much leisure talking in general,” he said, “at least not us at the academy. We don't have much free time to spend in conversations, nor are they considered beneficial for our development. If we do, however, we usually tell stories about things that happened during classes or discuss our duties. I read that you alteans consider it polite to tell funny stories to make your conversation more interesting. I gathered some and I can tell you one if you want me to.“  
Wow, he did an awful lot of preparation, I thought. I felt suddenly very interested in this guy.  
„Absolutely!“ I said with sincere enthusiasm.  
„Once there was a boatman, who was instructed to transport a weblum over a river and he failed. Why? Because there was no river.“  
He went silent, so I had to look up at him again to see if he was going to tell the funny end of the story, but he was looking back at me expectantly. This was the funny story, I realised. What he just said was so the opposite of funny that I didn't know what to do.   
“Because the weblum absorbed the river?” he added after a pause.   
I still couldn’t get why this was supposed to be funny. We looked at each other for a second, and then he blinked and turned away, looking disappointed.  
„I am sorry, princess. It seems that telling funny stories requires more than I thought.”   
Damn it, I thought. Why couldn't I laugh? I should have at least smiled!  
“I have one more thing, though,” Zarkon continued.   
With a triumphant expression, he stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out a chocolate rabbit figure in a colourful paper, one of those table decorations we ordered. The figure was slightly rumpled from being stuck in a pocket, but mostly intact.  
„Where did you get it?“  
„Stole from one of the tables,“ for a second, he looked worried. „Does it mean something? Should I go put it back before someone noticed?”  
I laughed, and it was the first sincere laugh I made this evening. He frowned, but this only made it funnier.   
„No, don't worry; these are just eatable decorations, nothing more.”   
He sighed with relief, but then looked at the rabbit once more.   
„Wait, eatable?” he exclaimed, “I can eat it?”  
I nodded, and before I could warn him about the paper, he bit the rabbit's head off and tried to chew it. His eyes widened, he spit the mess of chocolate and paper out, looking disgusted.   
“It doesn't taste good at all!”  
I was laughing so hard that my eyes watered, while he stood there, trying to pick out colourful pieces of paper stuck between his pointy teeth.   
„Thurns outh I needh to emabarass mythself to make you laugh.“ he said, wiggling his finger in his mouth, but I saw small sparkles of amusement in his eyes.   
„Let us go eat something that is not covered in paper,“ I suggested after I could speak again. We turned and headed back to the castle. Now the initial stiffness between us vanished and I felt as free as I didn't for a long time.  
„Why would someone even wrap food into paper completely if it is not packaging?“ Zarkon asked angrily, failing to get the last piece of paper out from his teeth.  
„Well, we didn't really know what you galra cadets were going to be like. From the one side, your commander did a great job boasting about how extraordinarily serious you are, from the other side, the youngest in your group is just thirteen. We had no idea what you guys might like.“  
Disgust on Zarkon's face couldn't be clearer.  
„Pff, galra are born warriors, we don't need such nonsense on our tables.”  
„And yet you stole it for some reason, even without knowing it was eatable.”  
Now it was Zarkon's turn to blush. It looked strange, his face didn't grow red, but instead his cheeks and neck went dark.   
„It was out of general interest for your culture!“ he protested.  
Yes, I thought, culture. Sure thing. The difference between general galran military bravado, Zarkon's perceptiveness at one moment and this childishness at the other, made my head spin. I looked at him from the corners of my eyes. In general, he looked similar enough for me to be able to understand his body language, but still different enough to appear weird. He was walking in an unusual way, not like us alteans. Where I made a step and then another step, he would roll from one foot to the other smoothly, so that there was no pause in-between. His arms were so long that his fingers would almost reach his knees if he stretched them.   
We approached the castle now, and I saw Alfred with two of galra students, all three of them speaking at the same time and gesticulating wildly. I suddenly remembered that my father warned me about fraternizing with the galra too much. They were our worst enemy less than twenty years ago. What if Zarkon was instructed to ingratiate himself? He must have chosen to talk to me, since I was obviously the most lonely and least gifted among the princes. I suddenly felt nauseous. The sense of togetherness that was so strong just a moment before vanished.   
“It was nice meeting you,” I said, not looking up at Zarkon. He bowed silently and disappeared behind the brightly-lit door. I remained there, feeling suddenly very lonely for some reason.


	4. Chapter 4

Next days were busy for my family to say the least, so I lost track of Zarkon. The galra splitted into groups according to their specialisation and were visiting our research facilities, trained with our warriors, learned to operate our military equipment. The exchange was going extraordinarily well. My father told me that young Galra proved themselves highly motivated, easy learners and excellent fighters. I didn't have to do a lot with them, thank goodness, but I was still affected by their presence. Even though there was not so many of them, they flooded the castle and the surrounding area, not leaving me a single quiet spot.  
A couple of days later, in the evening, the loud galra crowd poured into the castle after their training, searching for their rooms, giggling. I took Alfor and went into the gardens, my head ringing from all the talking and my cheeks sore from smiling too much. Alfor tried to protest, but I was firm. We went to the lake and sat behind my favourite tree. Luckily, there was on one there but us. I took the tiara off and rubbed my temples. It felt like a pain at first, but brought much-sought relief. Alfor pulled out his toy, about to start nagging me into playing with him, but before I could protest, we heard steps. Somebody else was approaching our secret space.  
It was Zarkon! My heart leapt with joy I didn’t expect to feel. The galra didn't notice us. He approached the water, exhaled, pulled his sword off and sank on the grass. I was watching him with a strange feeling: he seemed just as tired from the rush as I was. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, looked around and saw us. He winced, his eyes widened. For a second, we all stayed silent, looking at each other. Then, he jumped and bowed.  
“Forgive me my intrusion, your highnesses” he said. “I didn't see you there.” He turned, about to leave, when Alfor suddenly jumped up and ran to him.  
“Wait, don't go!” he exclaimed. Zarkon turned, looking puzzled.  
“Play with us!” Alfor was beaming with energy. “We need an extra player for more fairness! Alva is worse than me, so you would be there for balance!”  
Zarkon still hesitated, looked questioningly at me. I sighed.  
“Yes, do stay. If you don't play with us, he will drive me crazy.” With a small crooked smile Zarkon went back.  
“I am honoured,” he said, sitting down near the giant root. “How do I play it?”  
The game was a simple flight simulator. Alfor showed Zarkon how to put virtual reality patches on. Zarkon tilted his head and gasped.  
“What is this?” he asked, turning his head from one side to the other. Then he ripped off the patches, looking at us with shock on his face.  
“A game!” Alfor exclaimed impatiently. “Come on, put them back on!”  
“You play with this? But it looks so real! This game is better than any of our professional battle simulators!” I suddenly felt a burst of pride for Altea.  
We all took the controllers (Zarkon inspected it shortly) and put our patches on. Alfor turned training mode on.  
„So listen, the controller is for steering. It recognizes your movements, so you will be using it for pretty much everything. Lift it to pull up!”  
Immediately, Zarkon's ship skyrocketed, turned over and steered down. The newbie player uttered a terrible cry and would have crashed, if he didn't manage to stabilize his position just before the ground.  
“Wow, well done, Zarkon!” Alfor exclaimed. “How did you manage to do that? You should have crashed! Be careful next time, the controller is pretty responsive.”  
Zarkon was breathing heavily, his ship hanging motionlessly in the mid-air.  
“Yes, this is a very realistic simulator,” he said at last. “Let us go on.”  
“So you go in any direction by moving the controller and fire with the button. We will play against each other,” Alfor continued, while Zarkon was pulling his ship in various directions. “You two will play against me, since I am obviously by far the best pilot here. The goal is to stay in the air for as long as possible. We will get better weapons with each turn. Don't forget to catch medical kits, they replenish your health! Good luck, though you won't need it, since I will beat you!“  
Zarkon just snorted.  
“Don't you celebrate too early.”  
Alfor chose the war setting and we started. He had a reason to be sure of his victory: I was really bad at these games, since I had neither the swiftness needed for them, nor any particular wish to develop it. Usually I only played if they desperately needed someone to fill the team, and even then my teammates would complain about my lack of skill pulling them down.  
However, Zarkon didn't need me at all. That time, I saw what he really was, for the first time in my life.  
Everything happened within a couple of seconds. Without warning, without making fancy tricks that my brothers were so good at, Zarkon pulled up again. Before I could even move, his ship soared up and swooped down at Alfor, who was not expecting such swiftness from a newbie. Zarkon took advantage of stronger protection on the ship's nose. He rammed Alfor, cutting his ship's tail off completely and damaging his left wing. Both ships were now hooked onto each other. Alfor dove, pulling Zarkon down with him and they hit the ground before I even found the button to fire. Everything was over. Boys' ships were slowly burning below me, spreading thick black smoke. The game was finished, announcing vistory for our team, patches fell off our eyes and we found ourselves sitting in a circle again, blinking at each other.  
Alfor's eyes were completely round with surprise; he opened and closed his mouth silently. Zarkon was rubbing his eyes as if after long sleep. Finally, Alfor regained his ability to speak.  
“Amazing!” he yelled, “Incredible! Wow!”  
My brother was sometime prone to exaggerations, but right now I agreed completely. The way Zarkon won was unheard of. Boldness of his attack, his unconditional self-sacrifice, but also the brutality of his move was truly amazing. Little did I know that what I saw that day were those qualities that would define him later, even if it didn't seem like this at the first glance.  
Alfor, being the sweetheart he was, didn't feel offended by the defeat. Instead, he went on rambling praises to Zarkon, mixing them with characteristics of ships and details of the battle. Zarkon smirked at me and I couldn't hellp but smile back.  
“Congratulations, princess.”  
“I didn't do anything!” I protested.  
“Sometimes it's not about doing things yourself, but instead aligning with people who can do it for you.”  
This phrase made me shiver, even though I didn't really understand what was wrong with it. In the meantime, Alfor calmed down a little and went on explaining different kinds of altean battle ship armours, and Zarkon started listening to him attentively again.  
“You seem to know war technology quite well, young prince” he said finally, when Alfor made a small pause in his speech to catch his breath.  
“I am an expert in war technology!” Alfor boasted. I giggled, but Zarkon looked serious.  
“Wait here, don't go away” he said. “I will show you something that you might like.”  
He was absent for quite a while, returning after half an hour, running, carrying a big book in his hand.  
“Here!” he said, dropping on his knees near us and putting the book on the ground. “Commander Morrak allowed me to give it to you as a present.”  
“What is it?” Alfor asked suspiciously. He wasn't particularly fond of reading, if it wasn't something practical. Instead of answering, Zarkon just smiled and opened the book randomly in the middle. Alfor uttered a shriek.  
The pages of the book were very white and luxuriously glossy, and they were covered with photographs of various battle ships, depictions their inner structures, some charts. Alfor stopped breathing; he was looking at the book as if it was the greatest treasure in the world.  
“This is basically a commercial; since our planets are now allies, we share information on weapons.” Zarkon went on, opening the table of contents, “Look, there is everything. Personal weapons, group weapons, artillery, tanks, nautical equipment, space ships, battle stations. They even included war motorcycles.”  
Alfor uttered a moan, grabbed the book and looked at Zarkon with glossy eyes.  
“Thank you!” he moaned, “this is so wonderful!”  
My little brother immediately forgot about us. He would turn the pages, caress the pictures, sometimes murmur something under his nose, gasp. I didn't see him so happy for a long time.  
“Looks like you managed to find my brother's weak spot” I said. Zarkon smiled again.  
“I am glad to be useful.”  
After this day, Zarkon won Alfor's heart over. My brother became Zarkon’s fierce supporter, always trying to talk to him and considering his opinion over anyone else's.  
We would spend time every evening, just three of us. Sadly, Zarkon was very busy and he constantly had to make effort to find time. However, everything changed once more, when he and I found another common ground.


	5. Chapter 5

Music was one of my major pastimes when I was a child; I had a teacher for harp and also played for myself in the evenings. As a princess, I was supposed to be excellent at everything I did, so my teacher was very strict and would always criticize me if I made even tiniest mistakes. When I was younger, my parents had hoped that one day I would become proficient enough to play for charity events, but it never happened. I was too lazy, my fingers too clumsy and sensitive.  
By the time I met Zarkon, everyone pretty much gave up on my possible musical career, so I would mainly play alone in the evenings, closed up in my room, chaotically touching the strings. I carefully watched out to avoid anyone hearing me playing, because, for me, any listeners meant a recital. Playing for someone meant reproducing the music sheet, making tremendous nervous effort that made my armpits soaked after a couple of minutes, constantly paying attention. Not that anyone wanted to listen very much – my parents were too busy and my brothers were never particularly interested in music, but even when I was alone, I never improvised, never played freely; never let myself go completely for fear of being scolded.  
However, somewhere deep in my soul, I must have still wished for an undemanding bystander, because once day, I asked Zarkon if he wanted to listen to me playing. To be honest, it was pure madness considering how galra cadets were taught to despise any kind of softness. I don’t even know now what I was thinking; I could expect any kind of negative reaction. To my surprise, he agreed immediately.

In my rooms, I pulled my harp from the wall box I kept it in and pulled the stool to it. Zarkon sat down on the floor, legs crossed, and rested his chin on his fist.  
“Look, don't let me bore you” I warned him. “I know I will probably make mistakes, so just tell me if I will play for too long.”  
I started playing, fear like a heavy stone in my guts. I deliberately chose several of my best pieces the evening and trained before. For some reason, I felt special necessity to impress Zarkon now. Immediately after I started, he froze in one position and didn't move until I finished the first piece. His eyes went glassy and absent. Seeing that I made such an effect on him, I relaxed a little.  
“Princess, this is so beautiful,” he said after I finished everything I prepared for today. “And you play wonderfully; you should give yourself more credit.”  
I felt I was blushing, so I stood up to hide it and pulled another file with music sheets from the drawer. Embarrassment made me clumsier than usual, so I pulled too hard and other books and files fell onto me. Zarkon leapt towards me to help and looked inside the drawer. His eyes focused on my old keyboard and his face lightened.  
“Princess, we also have such instruments!” he exclaimed, bending over to the keyboard. “May I help you out a little bit?”  
“What do you mean?” I asked in surprise. Zarkon seemed like the last person to have a musical talent.  
“I played a similar instrument on Galra before. I am not sure if they sound exactly the same, but ours also have keys. Would you like to rest a bit? I can play you a couple of things I remember.”  
Nothing could have made me happier. We pulled the keyboard out of the box and plugged it in.  
Zarkon took a chord, then the other. His face grew absent again, as if he was listening to something inside of him. I noticed that he was touching the keys differently than we learned. My music teacher always insisted on me playing with the very tips of my fingers. Zarkon was putting the whole finger on the key. Self-learner, I realised, no one ever told him he was playing wrong. Weirdly, this unusual way of pressing the keys didn't affect the agility of Zarkon's fingers at all.  
He started playing a song, a slow and sad one, three-count, like our waltzes, but it had none of the joyfulness of a waltz. He did sound like a self-learner, lacking the technique and polished sophistication of our court musicians. Yet the music was strangely entrancing, filling my brain like honey. When he finished playing, it took me several seconds to return back to reality. Zarkon was looking up at me from the floor.  
My brain must have still been absent, because I stretched my arms towards my harp and repeated a part of the melody. Zarkon followed immediately. We played his song like that many times that evening, until I knew it by heart. It was the first time that I played without the music sheet, without clear instructions to where to put which finger, without restrictions to tempo and volume. And it felt like the most ecstatic thing I ever did!  
From that evening on, improvising has become one of our main pastimes. We would skip the lunch and dinner and take some foods with us to earn an hour more of playing. Zarkon was usually playing the main party, also leading the improvisation and I was taking the support role, though sometimes we changed. We would do this for hours, and he never repeated himself, it never got boring or difficult. Never had I felt such a connection with anyone, such perfect synchrony. Now I understand that it was partially due to my magic, I would in connect our minds together, like it happens when Voltron is formed, without realising it. But still, it was something extraordinary. When we would get tired from playing, we would stop and just sit there, talking or just being together.”  
Haggar went silent, looking in front of herself.  
“So you just sat there together and played? And he didn’t try anything? I mean, you were teenagers!” Allura asked.  
“You underestimate my Lord’s self-control.” The smile on Haggar’s lips was like a snake, ready to attack. “But there was certain… tension, you are right.”


	6. Chapter 6

One day, we were together in a pavilion looking at the pictures in a history book Zarkon brought me. It was too hot to talk or think actively, so we would just half-lie there, sipping cold juice and turning pages senselessly. It was a schoolbook, the only one Zarkon could find, so there was a lot pictures. Various galra looked at me, scary faces, sad faces, solemn faces. I recognized the great northern king for his signature scar that was going around his face from his temple onto his cheek and jaw, but his name evaded me. Many men in those pictures wore complicated hairstyles, multiple braids crossing their heads, some falling loose, some gathered into knots.  
“What is with their hair?” I asked. “Do these hairstyles mean anything?”  
Zarkon lifted his head for a second to look into the book and then dropped it back.  
“Yes, these are traditional male hairstyles. They mark social origins, line of work and notable deeds during life. For example, this one” Zarkon pulled himself up once more and poked his finger into one face “he was born in a blacksmith family and rose to become the king’s first advisor. He was awarded a nobility title, of course, but he still wore his hair like a blacksmith, with many parallel braids, because he refused to let go of his origins.”  
“What do these hair loops mean?”  
“They mark his military achievements.” Zarkon giggled. “There were much less than he implies with his hair.”  
“Why didn’t I ever see any of you wear anything except a ponytail?”  
“Because these hairstyles are dangerous. Less than fifty years ago, there was no “Galra” as an entity, there were kingdoms and republics. Times of disunity are still too close, so our government tries to eliminate as many signs of it as possible. If you wear such a hairstyle, one look is enough to tell exactly where are you from and what you allegiance is. This is undesirable, especially in us cadets, since we are supposed to be the soldiers of Galra, not of our own countries. Wearing those hairstyles in the academy is punishable.”  
We exchanged a glance. I was impressed by the amount of nonsense one can put into a hairstyle.  
“Such a pity, it would have come in handy with this heat. At least, my neck wouldn’t need to sweat as much.”  
Zarkon exhaled sharply, opened his mouth to say something, but closed it back without uttering a word.  
“What?” I asked. By that time, we have forgotten about politeness a long time ago. He hesitated.  
“I could make you one of such hairstyles, a female variant, of course. I could make you a southern noble lady, they used to pin their hair high. After all, who deserves to wear it, if not you?”  
“Then do it! What do you need to make it?”  
Heat-induced laziness vanished; I sat up, unable to wait any longer. Zarkon, however, remained lying.  
“I am not sure how your family and commander Morrak will see it. I am not supposed to distribute traditions of old age, after all.”  
“My parents would be happy if I paid more attention to my looks.”  
“This is not the kind of attention they expect from you, I assure you.”  
“Listen, who is the princess here? I command you to braid my hair!”  
“Well, if you insist” Zarkon sighed.

“So what do you need?” I asked impatiently, when we entered my room.  
“Not much, this one is mostly self-supporting. A hair comb and several hairpins will suffice. ”  
I handled him the comb, sat down on the poof and started digging in my accessory box, attempting to find the best pins, but when he touched my hair, my hands refused to move.  
It was strangely erotic for such a simple procedure. Zarkon’s hands were hot and dry, his touch unexpectedly soft. When he brushed his thumb on my neck, gathering my hair in one bunch, goose bumps covered half of my body, even though I was not cold at all. He kept combing, gently swiped the hair from my face. I suddenly became aware of just how sweaty and oily my forehead must have been and felt embarrassed. I would always brush my hair myself, no one had ever done this to me and I was overwhelmed by an avalanche of sensations.  
The hair comb kept massaging my head and I couldn’t help but relax under this touch, melt into a mindless puddle. I don’t know how long he brushed my hair, but I wished it to last forever. He could now hug me, wrap his arm around me and put his palm on my stomach, I thought. I felt that my face started to burn. He could put away the brush, run his fingers down my neck and kiss that sensitive spot behind my ear...  
Through the hot veil of arousal, I felt that several times, Zarkons's fingers touched my ears and I recognized timidity in this touch, the one I wouldn’t expect from him, and his breath has become uneven.  
“You have such soft hair” he murmured, his voice trembled slightly.  
I looked straight up and for a second I caught a longing, pained expression on his face. However, the second our eyes met, he looked absolutely normal again.  
“Lower your head, Princess;” he said casually, “it is difficult to braid hair that I cannot access.”  
I looked down as he said; the erotic sensation was gone completely. What the hell happened to me? Was I imagining things? Zarkon scrubbed my scalp, trying to part my hair into three zones. While still careful, this touch had none of affection from before.  
I don't know how Alfor raised you, but when I was younger, the virtue of any female members of the royal family was a value of the crown. As a princess, I did not belong to myself. While my brothers were the future of the royal line, I was its show piece in the endless exhibit. It was implied that I was to marry a handsome and perspective young man, the one my parent would agree on, receive lots of cute children and, together with my siblings, support and polish the image of royalty. We were no barbaric tribe; of course, no one would force me to marry somebody I hated, but still... My options in life were pretty limited.  
I never really fought it, either. It might seem like I was a pushover, but I didn't imagine another life for myself, it never really occurred to me that there were things outside of my destination worth fighting for. Like a well-trained circus horse, I went along and played my trick to receive my sugar.  
Zarkon's fondling, as banal as it might seem, came like a wrecking ball to the walls of my world. I never even considered a possibility of having a romance with someone inappropriate, let alone with an alien, someone more conservative of my people considered a vicious animal. For the first time I viewed Zarkon as a man, I realised that he can want me. Before that day, my parents didn't need to supervise me, lack of alternatives made me very dutiful to my tasks. Zarkon's touch showed me a possibility I never saw before. Yes, I didn't know what to do with it yet, but I felt like a blind person who saw light for the first time.”  
Haggar went silent again.  
“So what happened then?” Allura asked impatiently. Haggar shook her head.  
“We didn’t talk much before my hair was ready; awkwardness was present in the air. Finally, Zarkon announced that he was done. I stood up and went to the mirror to look at myself, my thoughts still in chaos. I always wore my hair loose, so seeing multiple braids, all pulled up, was a new experience. I turned back and forth in front of the mirror, while Zarkon was pulling my hair out of the brush, not looking at me.  
“Suits you nicely,” he said, without meeting my gaze. “I can add pins or decorations for more symbolism, if you want. Would you like a flower?”  
Suddenly, I got an idea.  
“No, I want something more aggressive.”  
I pulled two pins out of my box, both decorated with teeth of some animals my brothers killed during one of the hunts. I never liked these pins before, but now they felt right. Zarkon examined them shortly, then stuck both of them on the right side of the bun on my head.  
“This will mean that you attempted to kill these animals, it was no accident.”  
We were standing really close now, and I had to tilt my head back to look into his face. He seemed hesitant.  
“You are the warrior,” I said, “If anyone should wear teeth, it’s you.”  
Zarkon snorted.  
“Only those in my mouth. As you see, I lack the source for any hairstyle.”  
“Listen, Zarkon, why are you bald?” I asked.  
I didn't plan it; and half an hour ago I would’ve never dared to venture in that direction, but now thousands of questions were burning my tongue.  
“It is a deformity,” he said calmly, as if talking about trivial matters. “A side effect of genetic illness that causes bones to grow in wrong ways. I am lucky, though, it provided me with head ridges instead of a hump, as it could have.”  
I stood with my mouth open, unable to say anything.  
“I didn’t know you were sick.” I mumbled finally, feeling very stupid.  
“I am not sick. I am absolutely healthy; otherwise I wouldn’t have been a cadet. We are all required to have ideal health indices. I am just tall and look ugly.”  
“You don’t look ugly!” I protested, but he just grinned.  
“It's ok, I am not supposed to be handsome, I am supposed to be effective.”

“Wait!” Allura interrupted. “So... nothing happened? He just... went with it?”  
“What was supposed to happen?” Haggar frowned. Allura averted her eyes.  
“Well...” she muttered, “it is Zarkon we are talking about...”  
“You spoiled brat, he would never force me to anything!” Haggar's face was pure disgust.  
„Anyway, the possibility of being romantic with Zarkon seemed to have breached a certain barrier in my mind, because I suddenly saw a million inconveniences in my life. To be honest, next weeks felt like hell, to myself, I seemed like a caterpillar wrapped in an uncomfortable cocoon. My dresses, light in colour and with open shoulders, suddenly started restraining me, I wanted to wear closed and dark ones. Rings and bracelets bit my fingers. Shoes and bras suddenly became too narrow. I started getting angry at everyone. When my father told me during a family breakfast that after galra would leave, I was to be present at nobility balls more often, I started crying and threw my glass on the floor. My poor parents couldn't understand what was happening. They thought I was getting sick, so they sent a doctor to me. I yelled at the doctor. I yelled at my dressmaker. I yelled at Zarkon several times, though he wouldn't get involved.“  
“So you will tell me that it was all just candy and hair braiding? ” Allura asked angrily. „And he never showed his real face to you? Or were you blind and deaf?“  
“Yes, it was candy!” Haggar exclaimed, now visibly annoyed. „He gave me the impulse I desprately needed and didn's ask anythingin return! Though I was scared of him once, even if it wasn't exactly his fault...”


	7. Chapter 7

This happened closer to the end of galra visit. I enjoyed Zarkon's company now more than I did of my family, but things just couldn’t go smoothly. One evening, I was in my room, when the door burst open and Alfor appeared in the entrance, panting, his face all red.  
“Alva, come quickly, please!” he exclaimed, “I think Zarkon has gone crazy!”  
Zarkon was the least probable candidate to act weird, so I felt worried. We both ran off to the ground floor. Zarkon was there, together with Alfred, having grabbed the prince by the shoulder and shaking him while telling something. Alfred looked very bleak. It would have seemed funny, if it wasn’t so menacing.  
“…fly it! I can fly even a trashcan!” Zarkon yelled into my brother’s face.  
“Zarkon, stop it!” I shouted, half afraid, half angry.  
He turned his head to us and let Alfred’s shoulder go. He obviously wasn’t drunk, his movements were as precise as usual, and he was standing firmly on his feet. But the expression on his face scared me. If unruliness had a manifestation, it would have been Zarkon now. His eyes had that devious oily glow to them; his wide mouth was curled in a grin, ears turned completely forward and twitching. For some reason, he seemed to have lost control over his swallowing, so that now a pink thread of saliva was running down his chin. Why pink, I wondered shortly, but didn’t have time to finish this thought.  
“Alva!” he exclaimed and sucked saliva in with a disgusting slurping sound, “So nice of you to come! I’ll show something to you all, you’ll be the judge.”  
It was the first time he called me by name, not by title. He rushed to the exit, without waiting for us.  
“What happened here?” I whispered angrily to Alfred, who was rubbing his shoulder, looking shocked.  
“I don’t know, right?” he hissed back. “The skydivers are on a mission, so I decided to spend time with this weirdo, and then he just started yelling.”  
“What did you do?” I insisted.  
“Nothing! I had just received a new package of ninnies, I offered him some, we talked a bit and then he started getting all aggressive. We didn’t drink or something, if that’s what you mean!”  
Ninni berries were my brother’s favourite fruits, but the rest of the family didn’t like them, so they were almost never present on our table. What did they have to do with everything? Zarkon reappeared in the hall.  
“Come on, what are you waiting for?” he demanded, “Don’t you want to see it?”  
“See what exactly?” I asked, but he didn’t listen.  
He grabbed my hand without asking for permission and dragged me along with him. His grip was so firm that there was no chance of escaping. My brothers rushed after us, but Zarkon reacted faster. When Alfor shouted at him to stop, he just grinned, caught me by the collar like a rabbit and threw onto his shoulder, as if I was a bag. He ran off into the gardens, his longs legs gave him significant speed advantage.  
Fear drove all thoughts out of my head; I could only feel bones on Zarkon’s shoulder bite into my stomach. Zarkon held me so tight that I could hardly move, and I felt as helpless, scared and lonely as I never felt before. Such gruesome assault from a person I trusted so much in the last time disoriented me, my thoughts jumped from one thing to another, I couldn't decide what to do. Where is he taking me? Should I shout, call someone for help? Just let him do what he wants to, since I cannot fight it? I wanted to cry and close my eyes and only open them to find out that this was all just a bad dream. Will he rape me? Is this what rape starts like? For some reason, I also felt embarrassed that this was happening to me, as if I was also a part in crime. In one short image, I saw people giggling behind my back, asking themselves if I secretly wanted this to happen to me, lowering their voices when I would enter....  
Luckily, I didn’t take long. He brought me to the backyard of the palace, towards the Lonely Hawk, the legendary jet that my grandfather used to escape his underwater prison and lead an assault that would later retake our capital. He wants to fly it, I realised. He wants to fly this old junk and he is going to take me with him and we will die. I forgot about rape, fear for my life gave me strength and I started wiggling as much as I could. This didn’t help me, Zarkon’s grip just got stronger, but he had to slow down his pace. My brothers were still too far away, and Zarkon seemed to firmly intend to pull me inside the ship. I looked at his ear near my chest. It was a low blow, but I had no choice. I plunged my nails into his flesh and tore the ear, twisting it at the same time. Zarkon shrieked with pain and dropped me, but didn’t let me go.  
“Leave me!” I yelled, trying to kick him in the crotch without success.  
“Stop it!” he growled, pinning me to the ground, “I’ll show you something you had never had a chance to experience! You will know what freedom tastes like!”  
“I don’t want it! Let me go! I hate you! I hate you!”  
Now that I lost my grip on his ear, he overpowered me again, but my last words seemed to hit him more than any blow of my fists. Suddenly, he leaned back.  
“Hate me?” he spit out, “It’s me you hate? You sit in the castle like a dog on a leash and bore yourself to complete degeneration, when you could have done great things with your life! Then I want to show you something and you hate me?”  
His face was just several inches away from mine, one of his mad glowing eyes looking slightly sideways, which made his expression even scarier. He was sweating, I felt this distinct galra smell, like burned isolation in a spaceship, and when he spoke, little drops of his pink saliva landed on my face.  
Pink saliva. Galra have normal clear saliva, just like us, and their blood is black instead of red, so it could not have come from a bitten lip. But ninni berries are violet. My father’s voice ringed in my ears. Be attentive to our guests, he said to us before galra arrived. Although our metabolism is mostly similar and they will be eating our foods, they are still different species. Some substances that are harmless for us may provoke allergic reactions in them. If you decide to feed them something unusual, be sure to look after them for some time afterwards. Can it be that ninni berries drove Zarkon crazy?  
My older brother finally caught up to us, panting. I couldn’t help a small happy shriek when I saw them. I wasn’t alone any more!  
“Let her go!” Alfred yelled, pulling out his sword.  
“Go pick some flowers, sissy!” Zarkon answered, grabbing me by the forearm and pulling me towards the ship. I tried to hold onto a bush, but he hit me on the wrist and my fingers let go. Fear and pain made me desperate.  
„You are the sissy one! He would never attack a woman! You are a stinky coward!“ I shouted, feeling tears run down my face.  
Zarkon threw me on the ground, with disgust on his face.  
“Fine, stay,” every word was filled with venom. “Stay here with your caring brothers, on your comfortable planet. Enjoy your golden cage, birdie. I don’t need you.”  
He turned and jumped on the pedestal of the ship. Alfred rushed to me and helped me get up.  
“Did he hurt you?” my brother asked me. I just shook my head, tears were clogging my vision. My wrist felt like it was broken, but I didn't want to talk about it now. Alfor caught up to us now and was looking at us with round scared eyes.  
Zarkon managed to open the door of the ship.  
“Goodbye losers!” he yelled at us, his face distorted with hatred.  
“You will get caught, you idiot!” Alfor yelled back. “Get out and we will not tell on you.” Zarkon just snorted, sucked his saliva in with a slurp once more and disappeared in the inside of the ship.  
“Of course we will tell on him” Alfred snapped on Alfor. “He kidnapped Alva!” He pulled out his communicator, dialled a number, but there was no answer. Coran is not answering, he stated irritably. Alfor suggested we call our father, but at the same time, Zarkon managed to start the ship.  
The roar of the engine deafened us; wind blew dust into our eyes. When we were able to see straight again, the ship leaned dangerously on one side. Zarkon was testing the engine, so flames came out from different sections of the exhaust vents and made the whole pedestal shake back and forth. Alfred pulled us down and we crawled further from the pedestal to avoid getting burnt. Zarkon didn’t take much time preparing. Less than a minute later, the engine burst out flames on full power and the jet soared right up. Alfred has now dialled the emergency number, and I heard a siren from the palace.  
In a way, it looked like a repetition of the simulator game. Zarkon gained height and swooped down. But, instead of crashing, he leaned to the side, made an elegant curve and flew higher again, leaving a cloud of white smoke behind him. Then he did another curve. A roll.  
„The engine is damaged! He is going to crash!“ Alfor yelled, looking at the white traces Lonely Hawk left in the sky. He pulled his own communicator and started pressing the buttons in haste. Nothing. He shook it in frustration, dialled again.  
„He won't answer!“ Alfor looked at me, searching for help. „Alva, he is going to crash!“  
But I didn't want to help Zarkon, and neither did Alfred.  
„We are the ones we need to help! Especially Alva! How can you think about this terrorist before your sister?“ Alfred said angrily.  
The security of the castle reacted now, and we saw several fighters up in the air. Zarkon saw them, too, because he quit his tricks immediately and disappeared towards the city in a blink of an eye.  
Sentries came running towards us; they lead us into the palace, to our parents. My mother hugged us, crying, while my father was talking with the police forces of the capital. I was now in security, I knew it, but everything around me seemed artificial, frail, like a poor decoy to hide the reality. And the reality was Zarkon's distorted face several inches from mine and his iron grip on my arm. I started crying again, while the doctor was bandaging my wrist and palpating my shoulder. He gave me sleeping pills, too, so very soon my eyes started closing. I wandered off to my room and fell asleep immediately.  
When I woke up next day, everything seemed to have calmed down. My parents were busy, so I had to talk to Coran to get any explanations. He told me that Zarkon managed to get to the capital, but there was a whole squadron of air forces waiting for him. He didn't attempt to escape, but rather decided to play catch. Despite their technological advantage, it took them more than a half an hour to surround him, and when they did, he tried to break through a decorative net between two towers. The net damaged Lonely Hawk's exit vents, so Zarkon lost height, scratched his wing on the trees in the park and crashed into the lake.  
While I was listening to Coran talking about all this in his usual boastful attire, I felt fear come back again. I could have been in that jet with Zarkon. I could have crashed into the lake with him. I imagined what it must feel like to have your bones crushed in an accident and shivered.  
„I don't want him to be buried on Altea” I said.  
„But Princess, who talks about burying?” Coran said with amazement, „Zarkon is alive. He isn't even that badly hurt, there is no threat for his life. The guy has been born under a lucky star.”  
Alive! He survived!  
„Where is he, Coran?“  
„In the medical wing.“  
He is in the castle! Fear ran along my spine like cold water.  
„What if he gets out? What if he attacks someone again?“  
Coran assured me that Zarkon was in no condition to attack, but this didn't calm me down.  
I went straight to my quarters, shut the door behind me carefully, closed the window and pulled down the curtains. Now I was all protected, but it didn't ease my fear. The fact that Zarkon was alive so close made me hysterical. My coat on the chair seemed like a human body, so I had to approach it and touch it to make sure it wasn't anything.  
All my life, I was used to be unreachable, due to my royal status. I never learned to fight and I wasn’t very fit, but I lived with the feeling of security. I always knew that if something happened, I only needed to dial the emergency number and whole military forces of our planet will be there at my disposal. Last evening broke this illusion like a glass toy. When it really came to danger, I turned out to be as weak as an insect. I didn't have my communicator, but even if I had it, I forgot to use it. My body betrayed me, I couldn't resist Zarkon even in the slightest. My mind blanked out, I failed to use cunning, either. I felt bare and exposed to every threat in the world and there was no way to ease this feeling.  
My room was messy, so I decided to clean up, in hope to distract myself from the fear. I picked my clothes from the floor and brought books to the shelves they belonged to, when under one heap, I found my accessory box. Two pins with teeth were lying on top of my other jewellery. My heart missed a beat. Oh no, not those memories.  
Remembering how I reacted to Zarkon's touch made me feel dirty and guilty. Slut, I thought to myself, how could you give in so easily? He noticed how needy you are, no wonder he thought he could do anything he wanted to you. You called it upon yourself. I bet their whole galran bunch has heard about it, and masturbated to it. Princess, heh. Of course he didn't call you your title, you fell so low you don't deserve it any more. I imagined the disgust on my parents' face if they hear about what I allowed a galra to do to me.  
The air in the room seemed unbearably hot and steady. Unable to endure it any longer, I went outside. I need to find my brothers, I thought. I need to thank them for saving me. They believe me. They will protect me, they will show everyone that I am innocent, I am still clean.  
Alfred was nowhere to see, and I found Alfor in his room, but it didn't go as I had hoped. My little brother was lying in bed, curled under his blanket. He didn't react when I came in, but when I sat down on his bed and touched him, he started crying. He needed support himself, he couldn’t give me any.  
„How would he do that?“ Alfor moaned through sobs. „I thought he was our friend! I trusted him! He always spoke so high of you, why would he do that, why?” Alfor burst into sobs.  
I didn't know what to say to comfort him, so I just hugged him and we sat like that for some time.  
„He respects you so much” Alfor started again after he has calmed down a bit. „It was a hallucination, Alva, there is no way he could have done that.“  
He looked at me with hope for reassurance, but I couldn't offer him any. I was also close to tears, seeing him mourn Zarkon's injury so much made me ask myself again if I wasn't the true culprit here.  
What if I drove Zarkon to do what he did by opening up to him too much? I let him too far inside of my soul and he decided he could seize the body. No, I thought, no, this is not true. He hurt Alfred, too. He stole the ship. It couldn’t have been me, we hardly even talked about ships.  
„It was no hallucination.“ I said to Alfor, showing him my bandaged wrist and my forearm. Since yesterday it has swollen and black marks appeared where Zarkon grabbed me. Alfor sobbed and buried his face in his hands.  
„I am terrible,“ he murmured „he hurt you so much and the only thing I can think of are excuses for him.“  
“You are.” I said. I felt grim satisfaction in blaming Alfor, as if it made me a little less guilty.  
We sat there for some time in silence, until Alfred came in. Unlike both of us, he looked calm and collected.  
„Oh, Alva, you are here, too. How are you feeling?“ he asked, hugging me. I buried my face in his shoulder and couldn't help but sob.  
“I am sorry, sis. I am so sorry it had to happen to you. But it is over now, you are safe.” Alfred's voice was soothing and I relaxed to his hand rubbing my back slightly.  
“I talked to our parents,” he went on, “there are interesting news about Zarkon.” Just the name made me shiver, but Alfor stretched himself forward and gasped.  
„It turns out the guy was really not thinking straight after all. You know how ninnies are really fragile, so the farmers spray them with chemicals to keep them fresh longer, right? Well, it turns out that those chemicals, while harmless to us, are similar to certain galra hormones and act like neuro-activators in their brain, at the same time suppressing the work of their prefrontal cortex. In other words, any impulse Zarkon had became stronger, and at the same time the part of his brain that was responsible for self-control was not working. Therefore, every desire he had suppressed before came onto the surface. Also, he looks like galra feel more emotions than we do, and therefore need to learn to control them. What we saw in Zarkon would be any galra that lacks discipline and self-restraint.“  
„He wanted to fly really bad...” Alfor said, not looking at any of us.  
He also wanted to hurt me, I thought. He wanted to do all the things he did, he just didn't let himself. Fear that has just retreated with Alfred's arrival has returned.  
„He wanted to drag Alva along.” Alfred frowned.  
Horror blinded me after his words. He suspects something! He knows something! Who else knows? Did Zarkon boast around with how he laid his fingers on a princess?  
„No!” I shrieked, „I don't know why he took me! He could have taken you, too!“  
“Of course he could...” Alfred started, but I couldn't take it any longer and jumped up. I couldn't bear anyone's company, I needed to be alone.


	8. Chapter 8

I spent the rest of the day wandering senselessly from my room to the garden and back, my thoughts running in an endless circle. My brothers knocked on my door several time, but I didn't answer.  
He was under drugs, he didn't mean it. It wasn't really him. Or was it? He acted on his own wishes. The ruthlessness I experienced was his own; no one induced it on him. He took me because of his own reasons. Did he really think I was so affordable? What did he plan on doing to me afterwards? Did he secretly stop respecting me after that hair incident or am I imagining things? Why flying? What has flying to do with anything?  
In other situation, he wouldn't have dragged me along, but only because he would've controlled himself. What makes a person, what he wishes deeply inside of himself, or what he consciously chooses to show? How can I talk to him know, knowing what happens under the crust of his dutiful attitude? How can I trust any galra?  
My head was spinning with thoughts, I felt like I was looking into the abyss, but I also couldn't just stop it and forget about Zarkon. The worst thing was that I couldn't talk to anyone without risking being accused of immorality. Weirdly, when I thought about entrusting someone with my doubts, I could only think about Zarkon.  
I tried distracting myself with music, but it didn’t work. Memories of the evenings we spent together came to me, how we would play like one four-handed person, how he would lead so skilfully and never repeat himself, how that would feel like the most wonderful unity ever. I shook my head. No. Don't think about it. There was no unity. He could have grabbed you like he did yesterday every time you were alone. He was a threat, he is a threat. I don't need Zarkon to play music!  
But it felt wrong. Without Zarkon to improvise, I didn't know what to play exactly. My own pieces almost disappeared out of my head, and playing galra songs felt like a knife in my heart. I tried to practice the technique, but I couldn't concentrate. Finally, completely exhausted in the evening, I decided I needed to talk to Zarkon one more time.  
I went to the hospital wing in the night to avoid getting caught, holding scissors in my hand for protection. Zarkon's room was almost completely dark, so that I had to stand still for some seconds to adjust my eyesight. There was a single bed in the back of the room. Zarkon was lying motionlessly, so I had to come closer to understand if he was awake.  
I bent over him and saw his open yellow eyes in the dark. He was lying on his back, stretched out and pinned to the bed like an insect. His right arm was plastered completely, together with the shoulder and both of his legs. The left wrist was tied to the bed. His blanket was tossed aside and he was lying there almost naked, even though it got colder in the nights. His face seemed badly bruised even in the dark, one eye nearly closed. He was shivering slightly and his breath was feverishly frequent. I looked at him and all the insults I prepared suddenly disappeared from my mind. When I went there, I was afraid of him, angry, I wanted to hurt him as badly as he hurt me, but seeing him so crushed and helpless made me forget about that.  
“Don't go! Stay with me a little, please...” he whispered, his eyes fixed at me.  
I pulled the blanket from under Zarkon and covered him. The touch of the blanket, as light as it was, made him wince and utter a small moan, but his face sparkled with joy.  
„You are not a hallucination!” he exclaimed, and, before I could answer, he continued quickly. „Please don't go, I won't harm you, I swear, I never meant to hurt you, I am so sorry, Princess, please let me make it up to you, I will do anything, let me be useful somehow...” He had to stop, since he was out breath. A painful knot was clogging my throat, so I couldn't answer him properly. I sat down at his bedside.  
“I will take any punishment you deem suitable for my actions. You shouldn't hold yourself back, Princess. Please let me redeem myself!” Zarkon continued, wiggling and trying to pull his unharmed wrist from the knot.  
“How can I trust you, after what you did?” I asked him. He didn't avert his eyes.  
“You can't. I don't ask for trust. Let me fix what I caused.”  
It is now or never. I have to ask now.  
“Zarkon, did you take me because I provoked you? Did you think I was available? Was it my fault…” I couldn’t talk any more, embarrassment made me stutter.  
His eyes widened with shock.  
“What?” he asked in disbelief, “why would… how did you even come to that? How could you have provoked me, you weren’t even most of the time! I assaulted you! I took you away by force! It was my doing, my fault all along! Why would you blame yourself? And what do you mean with available?”  
The relief I felt after hearing his words was so big that I thought I might faint. Terrible tension I felt throughout the last day suddenly disappeared and I felt like a deflated balloon.  
“And you didn’t tell anyone about what happened when you braided my hair?”  
My eyes have adjusted to the dim light enough now, so I noticed dark blush spread over Zarkon’s face.  
“Oh, you mean that…” he murmured. “I am sorry for that one, too. I had hoped you didn’t notice my behaviour. What exactly could I have told anyone that wouldn’t land me in prison?”  
I didn’t answer for a while, enjoying the newly acquired feeling of security. Zarkon seemed to process my words, though.  
“How would it make you available if I first behaved indecently towards you and then assaulted you?” he asked, his eyes fixed on my face.  
“Well, I allowed it.”  
“You allowed it how exactly? What could you have done? Princess, I am sorry, I don’t understand it.”  
I looked him in the eyes. He really doesn’t understand. Perhaps it was all my imagination?  
“Anyhow, don’t tell anyone, it might cause undesired conversations.” I concluded. “Did they tell you what happened to you?”  
He nodded.  
“The berries were sprayed with chemicals substance that affected my brain. It is no excuse for my behaviour, though. I hurt you. I kidnapped you, attempted to put you in a life-threatening situation, held you with force against your will and insulted you. And I don’t even mention your brothers and other inhabitants of the city who could have been hurt if I crashed the ship somewhere else. I was disgusting. If this is what I really am without control, you would be wise to stay as far from me as possible.”  
How does he manage to find just the right words to melt my heart? If he had started finding excuses, even justified ones, I would have left immediately and never wanted to see him again, but this readiness to take responsibility of his actions was so disarming. And how did he manage to erase my fear within several minutes of our conversation?  
I bent over him and untied his left wrist. He didn’t move his hand, just sighed.  
“I wish you had hit me,” he murmured. “Your kindness is self-deprecating. You shouldn’t trust me like that.”  
Half an hour ago I wouldn’t have believed that I might say this to him.  
“Everyone has their inner demons. Yours happens to be boastful and aggressive, good to know. At least you weren't sadistic or mischievous. ”  
“Are you kidding me? Of all the ways to break my neck I chose the worst one.” Zarkon was so agitated now that he moved under his blanket. “Commander Morrak will probably expel me and he will be right to do so.”  
When he said those last words, I heard such misery that I couldn't remain indifferent. I knew how important his studies were to him and how much he identified himself with his military service.  
“It wasn’t your exactly fault! I will speak for you if necessary.”  
Zarkon shook his head.  
„No, you need to stay out of it. I have to answer for my actions on my own.“  
Now he was shivering even more and looked even worse than when I arrived.  
“Princess, may I ask you a favour? Give me something to drink, please, I am terribly thirsty.”  
I took the bottle from the windowsill and looked around, searching for a glass.  
“No, just give it to me!” Zarkon stretched his arm to me. I gave him the bottle, he started drinking greedily, pouring the water on himself. Finally, he satiated himself and let his head fall back on the pillow.  
“Thank you” he murmured, “I really needed that.”  
There was something else wrong with him, something bothering him. I had a terrible suspicion.  
“Zarkon, when did they give you painkillers last time?”  
“A couple hours ago, but they don’t work as intended.”  
“So you are in pain all this time?” I asked in horror.  
“Not when you are around!” Zarkon answered quickly. As flattering as this sounded, I felt I needed to do something.  
„I can try to ease your pain with magic.” I suggested. „But I am not a very experienced witch yet. I can make it worse.”  
„You can do such things? Please try it, I mean, if it is not too much bother.“  
The eagerness in his voice was only too obvious. Poor thing, I thought, he was suffering all this time and still found it in himself to calm me down.  
“Fine, relax and try not to fight it. If everything goes well, you will not feel more that an itch.”  
Mental magic was always the area I was best at, so I was pretty confident about what I was doing, yet I never expected it to be that easy. I put my fingers on his temples, closed eyes and concentrated before the intrusion, expecting to feel the usual resistance. Any person fights mental penetration, this is a natural reflex. But I cut through Zarkon’s barriers like knife through soft butter, without even noticing it and sunk into his sensations. The pain was everywhere, burning me like fire. I swiped it away as fast as I could and emerged from Zarkon’s mind. Why didn’t he resist? Let me in so easily? The more trust there is between the witch and the host, the easier it is to access their mind. Does he trust me that much?  
He was now completely relaxed, a happy little smile on his face, looking at me from half-closed eyes.  
“Thank you, this is wonderful.” He murmured blissfully. “Never thought that not feeling anything can feel so good.”  
I couldn’t help to smile. Now Zarkon looked so harmless that I wondered why I was so afraid of him such short time ago. I took his hand, he intertwined our fingers immediately.  
„I was afraid you would never forgive me.” he whispered  
„I was very afraid of you.” I admitted  
„You should be. I kidnapped you, I cannot believe that you came to see me after what I’ve done.” He raised his head, looking into my face, his eyes caught the bandage on my wrist. He swallowed.  
„Was that me?” he asked hesitantly. I nodded. Zarkon seemed to have shrinked a little.  
„I am so sorry, Princess. I am so sorry…“  
Now that his pain was gone, he seemed sleepy all of the sudden. His eyes just wouldn’t stay open, so I decided it was best to leave, even though he protested.  
Only when I was almost halfway to my room I realised that I didn’t ask Alfor's question – why did Zarkon want to fly so much?


	9. Chapter 9

I went to visit Zarkon once more the next morning, but he was still asleep. Curiosity was burning me alive. Why was flying so important to Zarkon that he was willing to risk everything and fly an obviously old, unsuitable ship? Zarkon was unavailable, but there was one more person in the castle who could answer my question.  
I knocked on commander Morrak's door the same morning. Luckily for me, he answered immediately and was alone.  
„Good morning, Princess!” he greeted me. „How are you feeling? I am truly sorry for what Zarkon did, he will be punished accordingly.”  
„I am fine, thank you,” I answered, sitting down at his invitation, “but I need to ask you a question about Zarkon, if you don’t mind.” Morrak nodded.  
“We know now that he didn't act quite rationally and the whole incident wasn't exactly his fault.“  
At this moment, Morrak exhaled and I realised how relieved he was that I wasn’t there to demand vengeance.  
„Why was Zarkon's strongest impulse to fly? Why was he ready to risk his life and fight through any obstacles to get onto any kind of a ship?”  
Morrak got visibly uncomfortable, squirming in his chair. His face grew darker. When I finished talking, he stood up, went to and fro, sat down again.  
„Well, I don't know exactly. He was in the piloting before, you know... Must have remembered something from that time...“  
I knew better then to be tricked by such primitive measures.  
„I deserve an explanation, don't you think?” I asked, looking him straight in the eye, without blinking. Morrak sighed again, then gave up the resistance.  
“Fine, Princess, but I beg you, don't spread it around without necessity. It is a truly shameful story for me, perhaps my biggest failure as a teacher.  
You probably noticed how all fighter jets are designed to be as small as possible, and in this small jet you need to transport as much fuel as possible, at the cost of the cockpit size. Small men make much better pilots, Princess, this is a sad fact. Before Zarkon hit eleven years, he was very short, but he had good reaction. It was only natural to allocate him into piloting, and boy was he good there. He is a natural, swift and calculating at the same time, he was a prodigy!  
That is, he was a prodigy until he started to grow unexpectedly. At first, I was even glad for him, because he stopped being the smallest in his squadron. But, within the next half year, his knees stopped fitting in the standard space, then he had to bow his head in the cockpit. These are all no trivial matters, Princess, the success of the mission depends on it. And with it, the lives of those he will later protect.  
I had no choice but to announce to him that he would be changing specialization. He was devastated, of course, piloting was his life! He refused to attend the classes for law and wrote an official claim to me, stating that his results were still among the best ones in the group and asking to be transferred back into piloting. What he failed to understand was that he would grow more and then there would be too late for him to change, he would stay useless, like a bird without wings. I declined and gave him a detention for missing classes.  
He sat it out, but instead of giving up, he went into the piloting exercise unauthorised, took a jet and led his former squadron during a training mission, just like before. None of his classmates reported him to the trainers, so his presence was not discovered until they were all in the air. Now it was not a question of compassion, he violated our rules severely. The squadron completed the mission, but when they landed, I made Zarkon spend a week in a disciplinary cell.  
The day when he was released, we had a government commission visiting our academy. Sadly, I underestimated Zarkon. While everybody was busy welcoming the guests, he hijacked a plane from one of the members of the commission! As it seems, he wanted to show off in front of the commission and then demand his place back, but he flew right inside the flight show, and endangered his classmates. The commission accused him of an attempt of murder and threatened to put him on trial by a military tribunal. I had to use all my connection to save this idiot, but he was sentenced to a month in the cell.  
He didn't sit out this sentence, though. He decided that if there is no legitimate way for him to fly, he would do it illegally. He simulated sickness, incapacitated the guard who came to see him and broke free. And then there was my error again. Several months before that, I gave him my personal identification code to let him access the library without restrictions. He used the code to unlock the cloaking off my personal jet, took it to the capital, passing all the securities with my security key stored on board and landed in the main space port. There he found a cargo ship, overrode its security and sent it to the nearest known pirate planet. The automatic tracking systems noticed the change of course, and alarmed the police, but Zarkon was already ahead of them.”  
Morrak went silent. I was shocked. Pirates! How could he do that! I saw films about what pirates did to their prisoners and they seemed like the ultimate evil to me. How could Zarkon, who always seemed so righteous, turn himself to such disgusting beings?  
„Anyway,” Morrak continued, “this would have been the end of Zarkon, the military student, but what started like a tragedy and ended as a joke. Pirates didn't believe him. They found it unrealistic that a single teenager could trick the whole security of a planet and escape professional pursuit. They thought it was a provocation, so they tied him up and gave him out to the authorities who threw him in his old cell.”  
I sat there, speechless. This all sounded like a badly-written detective story, but I had no reason no doubt Morrak’s words. I couldn't imagine how Zarkon survived all that, being still a child.  
“I had no idea he had to go through this” I said finally.  
“No, it is not the end. He didn't see any more sense to live, so the same evening he hanged himself in his cell.”  
“He did what??” I exclaimed, terrified. Morrak avoided looking at me.  
“Yes, I know. My student was so desperate and I failed to be there for him. We were incredibly lucky, though: since he escaped last time, the police ordered to check on him every hour. They found him in time and took him out.  
The next morning, when I was informed about it, I knew I had to act quickly and think of something to prevent him from harming himself. But I had no levers of influence anymore! With a person so desperate, what can you use?  
I ordered him to be transferred back to school from prison. I called him into my office and informed him that since he proved himself especially resistant to any kind of impact, other steps would be taken in his case. If he would do anything that even remotely resembles sabotage of his new field of service or himself, then the same day another member of his old squadron will lose all their awards and will be thrown out of the school. Another, completely innocent student.”  
„What did he say to that?” I gasped.  
„What could he say? The next day he took his books and went to classes.”  
„But this is blackmailing!” I exclaimed, my eyes watering. „This is terrible! Why couldn't you just let him fly if this was important for him?”  
„There was no way for him to fly for the military; we cannot rearrange our production because of just one pilot, no matter how skilled! He grew even more since then and now he wouldn't be able to fly effectively even he managed to squish himself into the cockpit. I had to keep him alive and prevent him from hurting himself or the school until the day he would understand the necessity of this decision. His sense of responsibility for his comrades was the only thing left I could use!”  
Both me and commander sat in silence for some time.  
“I am ashamed of myself for letting this happen, but I had no other choice.” Morrak said slowly. “I still think I did the right thing back then, but Zarkon has a different opinion on that matter, of course. It has been more than two years, I thought he managed to get over it, but I was wrong. Now I am not sure if he ever will, to be honest.”  
“But he will never fly?” I asked.  
“He could fly civil ships, but it isn’t the same. It is like driving a bus after having performed stunts on a motorcycle. I don’t think he wants to do it. What he needs is another aim in life, something that he would enjoy as much as he enjoyed piloting. I cannot offer him anything, but I think you can.” Morrak threw a sly glance at me.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Ever since he met you, Princess, I cannot recognize him anymore. I hadn’t seen him so energetic in years, so happy and so concentrated. After he quit flying, he was a lonely and grumpy, now he races around the castle and manages to achieve twice what he achieved before, and I don’t even mention that he spends all his evenings with you. Whatever you two are doing, it seems to work for him.”  
I didn’t know what to answer, my face and ears burning.  
“We don’t do anything particular,” I mumbled, “just play music and talk.”  
“Then it is a question of how you are doing it.” Morrak didn’t seem surprised. “Princess, I don’t want to put pressure on you, but it would actually be beneficial for Zarkon of he could keep at least some kind of contact with you after we leave.”

And so we continued to communicate all the time Zarkon was in the hospital. Since our healing pods weren't suited for galra back then, his recovery took almost the whole time until his departure. It was honestly probably the happiest, the most serene days in my whole life, both before and after it. Now that Zarkon didn't have any military duties, we would spend whole days together. Unable to remain idle, he was working intensely on the law comparison project Morrak started, and I helped him out. The aim was to try at least roughly correspond our and galran laws. If we didn't dig through endless chapters of galran law, we would talk idly. I told him about my conversation with Morrak, omitting the last part. He reacted with anger, but soon calmed down and agreed that it was better for me to know. Sometimes our conversation would wander in weird directions.  
“Did they take you ribbon away for rebelling about piloting?” I asked him one day. He looked at me over the book.  
“No, I am still the best student of my year, didn't you notice the badge?” he answered, looking slightly offended.  
“I noticed it, but I thought it was something secondary in comparison to the ribbon.” I answered, slightly puzzled. Zarkon rolled his eyes.  
“Secondary? This is the most prestigious award in our school! I took me a lot of effort to earn it.” Now there was a hint of arrogance in his voice. “Ribbon is merely a sign that you have any kind of achievement, no matter how small.”  
“Then why don't you wear it?” Zarkon's eyes shifter ever so slightly.  
“I don't want to, the badge says it all.”  
I laughed and poked him into the shoulder.  
“Spit it out, Zarkon. Where's your ribbon?” He frowned and closed the book.  
“I don't have it. The ribbon is a luxury object; it is not covered by my allowance.”  
“What allowance?”  
“My family cannot afford to pay for my studies. Since I showed good results, though, the government pays an allowance to cover my expenses. However, it includes only basic stuff, no decorative ribbons.”  
That conversation gave me an idea on what gift to give Zarkon at parting. Unlike him, I was limited neither in money nor in resources, and so together with my dressmaker we designed and implemented the most beautiful ribbon I could think of. It was purple with yellow embroidery and golden tassels. I chose the colours myself to make it look regal and festive at the same time. However, I experienced sudden difficulties when giving the ribbon to its rightful owner. Zarkon flatly refused to take it.  
“You offend me, Princess” he said gloomily, “I am not a gigolo who takes such expensive things from women. The gift looks even weirder amid my recent behaviour towards you.”  
No matter how I tried to persuade him, he remained firm. However, after a couple of days, I found his weak spot.  
“Princess,” he asked me, visibly uncomfortable, “may I ask you a favour? Please, don't feel obliged to do it, I just had an idea.”  
It was very untypical of Zarkon to make such long introductions, so I felt curious.  
“Could you give me something that belonged to you, as a keepsake of our time together?”  
This was my chance. I ran off to my room and returned with one of the teeth pins. Zarkon's eyes widened, he reached out for it avidly, but I quickly hid it and showed him the ribbon.  
“Together or nothing at all!”  
Rage on his face was hilarious.  
“Blackmailer!” he snapped. “Lowly, cunning creature!”  
I laughed so hard I could hardly speak.  
“Blackmailers try to take something from you, not give you a ribbon that you long deserve!”  
“You are taking something away from me – my pride! You leave me no choice!”  
“Well, if you want my pin so badly, then surely you can afford take a ribbon from me?”  
Zarkon sighed and shook his head.  
“Fine,” he said. I saluted his decision with a short hooray and handed him both the pin and the ribbon. Zarkon immediately hid the pin in an inner pocket of his uniform, and examined the ribbon more closely. He ran his fingers over the embroidery and looked up at me. His eyes were strangely glossy.  
“Thank you,” he whispered, “it is beyond beautiful! You shouldn't have bothered.”  
“Stop complaining and put it on!” I demanded. Zarkon obeyed.  
“It looks majestic, thank you, queen Alva!” he stood up and bowed to me ceremoniously.  
“The pleasure is all mine, Lord Zarkon!” I answered, stretching my hand. Light touch of his lips on my fingers was the best feeling in the world.

Haggar's story was interrupted by the buzz of the communicator. It sounded so unexpectedly loud in the room that Allura jumped. Haggar pulled the device from under her robes and looked at it.  
“It is morning already,” she said, standing up. “Story time over.”  
“No!” Allura exclaimed and reached out to hold Haggar back, “you didn't finish! Please, I want to know! You are a part of my family, too, my only surviving relative!”  
Haggar detached Allura's fingers from her robes. “I am not a member of your family for almost as long as I can remember. Disappear from here before someone finds you.”  
“No, I refuse! Alva, please, let me hear the rest of the story!”  
Haggar grinned.  
“Do you really think you can persuade me just by using my old name?”  
“You need it, too! You want to tell it to someone, I can feel it. No one knows what you are anymore.”  
“He knows,” Haggar nodded towards the bed, “this is more than enough for me.”  
“What if he dies?”  
Haggar spun so fast that her robes flew.  
“Don’t you hope for that!” she hissed.  
“Listen, let me stay until you are free again and can finish the story! I promise I won’t try to sabotage you in any way! You knew my father was a man of his word, I swear you on my life that I won’t break my promise!”  
“You father was an idiot.” Haggar said, but a wrinkle on her forehead disappeared.  
“Give me your weapons.”  
Allura handed Haggar her staff.  
“All your weapons.”  
Allura sighed and gave up her dagger and the communicator.  
“Here, put this on.” Haggar pulled a long cloak and a druid mask out. “I will lead you into a cell, you will wait for me there. Don’t try to communicate to anyone, I will sense it. I will pick you up when I can.”  
Allura had no choice but to obey. The cloak was very uncomfortable, too long sleeves restrained movements, but she followed Haggar along dark corridors. The cell was very small, barely big enough for a couple of steps. There was no furniture but a bare bench, and the door was so thick and heavy that Haggar had to put her whole strength to open it.  
“Don’t remove the cloak or the mask under any circumstances,” Haggar warned her, “it is for your own safety. I will order them to bring you something to eat, don’t talk to the guard who will visit you. If you try anything, you will end up dead.”  
Haggar disappeared silently, like a ghost, and Allura remained completely alone in the cell. It was completely quiet, except for a buzzing lamp in the ceiling. Time seemed to have stopped. Allura thought about her friends: they must be worried sick. Still, it was imperative to know the whole story. After all the nervous tension, Allura felt strange emptiness in her stomach. She knew that Zarkon was friends with her father before her birth, but hearing it so closely, diving into this atmosphere made it feel completely different.  
After Quiznak knows how much time, the door opened and the guard brought her lunch. It was a simple military ration, but Allura felt so hungry that she swallowed it almost without chewing. Sleepiness came together with fullness, and Allura decided not to fight it. If they want to kill her, they will do it anyway. She curled on the bench and fell asleep almost immediately.


	10. Chapter 10

Haggar went to pick Allura up much later, when the princess almost went desperate with loneliness. They followed the same way back to Zarkon’s room. There, Haggar sat down at her stool again, in the very same position as the evening before and waved to Allura to sit down, too.  
“Aren’t you hungry?” Allura asked.  
“No.” Haggar’s answer left to room for follow-up questions. “Let us get over with it. Where was I? Yes, the galra students left.”

“I missed Zarkon very much, but I didn’t feel lonely. He was as dutiful at writing letters as he was with other things. I felt his mental presence with me. Now that the whole bustle coming from galra was gone, I could concentrate more on my own life again. I refused to live as I lived before, and one of my main aims was to be admitted to the university. I decided to study xenobiology, having figured that with more planets joining us alliances, it would be a very perspective field. However, I quickly found out that my previous education was far from enough to guarantee me admission. I had to catch up on almost every subject, especially math. And, once again, Zarkon provided invaluable help even through the distance. He would send me links to best explanations, provide me with problems from their study plan, explain me things on his own.  
The problem was that all our communication was closely monitored on both sides, and we knew it. This put a heavy restraint on what we could and couldn’t write. Even if didn’t plan a riot, it felt like a chain. After around a half of year, we found a workaround.  
Alfor, who also changed a lot after meeting Zarkon, was now responsible for promoting the cooperation between our planets. Our father elected him honorary peace ambassador. I think my father chose him because of his charming attitude; he was like a living doll to most adults. No galra could ever say no to his bright smile. He was also really good at speaking for the public, so each his visit gathered people like a concert.  
As an ambassador, he would go to Galra often and, of course, he saw Zarkon each time he was there. I don’t know which one them had the idea, but once, he returned with a thick envelope. Zarkon and I started writing secret letters and exchange them with Alfor’s help. Of course, those came much less frequently, but they soon became almost more important to me.  
In these letters, I would lament about my family, share my plans for the university, describe my feelings honestly. Zarkon wrote about how he misses me, sent me funny stories from his life. In order to avoid being found out, we agreed on destroying the letters immediately after reading, but it didn’t help. They found out about our covert communication.  
I will never forget that day. Alfor was returning from Galra as usual, carrying, among other things, another set of Zarkon's letters, when the watchyapper in the landing docs barked at him, as if he was carrying something illegal. Of course, as a prince he was free from any kind of inspection, but his honesty played a bad role in this situation. Alfor declared that he didn't have anything illegal on him and insisted on showing his belongings to the officer. Since he was underage, our mother went inside with him as his legal representative and discovered the letters.  
She asked Alfor about the origins, because initially she thought these were his own ones, but my stupid honest brother told her the truth – that he carries Zarkon's letters to me. My mother was not an idiot, she realised that if there existed a second set of letters, then they must have contained something illegal. She confiscated the letters and read them.  
The scandal was enormous. She searched my room, but I had no evidence left. Still, from the letters it was clear that they are not the first ones. I don’t know, perhaps if I had confessed, it all would have ended easily… But I was stubborn. I told I had no idea about the letters, and so everything was still starting. My mother declared this a state affair and demanded from my father that Zarkon's belongings be searched, too.  
I’m still not entirely sure why she insisted so much at it. Was she angry at my resistance? Did she suspect something indecent? Was she simply shocked that her daughter would do something illegal all of sudden and she was worried for me? I don’t know exactly. I just know that afterwards, events came like an avalanche.  
This wasn't easy to access Zarkon, since he was the citizen of another planet, but under my mother's pressure, my father sent an official request. The Galra government didn’t want to risk positive diplomatic relationship with their mightiest ally because of one student, so they allowed the search in full scale. For the first time, my royal heritage played against me. If I was just one step lower, no one would have bothered. But the princess is always under a special surveillance.  
All of this happened within several terrible hours. Alfor returned in the morning, and in the late afternoon, my mother dragged me on board of the space ship to Galra, together with my father and Coran.  
I saw Galra and the military academy for the first time, but I hardly perceived anything due to shock and fatigue. The building was huge, square and black and when I entered it, I had a feeling that I was swallowed by it to never come back. In a way, I never came back as the same person.  
In the academy, we met with commander Morrak and the recent high chancellor, a thin, light-skinned balding man, accompanied by two very big and very scary looking guards. I never saw Morrak so gloomy and so uncomfortable, but the chancellor was beaming.  
„Your majesties!” he greeted us. „It hurts me to see you in such dire times. From all galra people, I apologize for this terrible suspicion. I will make sure that the culprit doesn’t escape his punishment. “  
“If there even is a culprit!” Morrak snapped. “Let us not jump to conclusions before any evidence has been gathered. My cadets set an exceptional example of honour and bravery; I will not let anyone spoil their name.”  
„Your cadet has been plotting against our allies and involved the princess in his dirty schemes, Morrak. He stepped far outside the borders.” The chancellor now seemed as dangerous as a snake, Morrak could do nothing but step aside.  
Dirty schemes? Plotting against Altea? What is happening? Is this how my parents made it appear for the galra side? My head and my stomach seemed empty and I followed my parents around like a robot.  
We all entered Zarkon's tiny tidy room. It stroke me how poorly furnished it was: nothing except a bed, a wardrobe and a working table with a lamp, not even a rug on the floor or some flowers. My mother made a movement to open the table's drawers immediately, but my father glanced at her and she went aside, looking offended. We were all standing in silence, waiting for something. My stomach growled, making everyone shift uncomfortably. When the door opened, I understood that it was for whom we waited, not for what.  
Zarkon entered the room with his usual energy. He managed to grow more during the months I didn’t see him, and gained some muscle. And he was still wearing my ribbon! Despite the situation, my heart leapt with joy upon seeing him. He stumbled slightly when he saw us, but pulled himself together almost immediately.  
„Your majesties, chancellor,“ he said, bowing his head. „Commander.” His eyes paused on me for just the tiniest second, but I noticed it.  
„Cadet Zarkon!“ Morrak started „You are being accused of leading secret and unsolicited correspondence with members of the royal family of Altea.” Zarkon's eyes were very calm, he was only looking at Morrak now, but his cheeks went a little paler.  
„I have the honour to exchange messages with both prince Alfor and princess Alva. I know of no other correspondence apart from that.”  
So he decided to deny it, too. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. On the one side, I admired his self-control, but from the other I almost wished that he would confess and this would be over.  
„Liar!” my mother exclaimed.  
„Your majesty, let us not give unproven accusations.” Morrak repeated. „Zarkon, due to severity of accusation and delicate subject, our government has sanctioned the search in your room“  
„I object!” Zarkon said very quickly, it seemed like he already prepared this answer in his mind. „I am a member of galran military forces. Only the military tribunal can give such sanctions, and only during war. In all other cases, only the court can sanction the search. Unless I missed something, we are not in war with Altea and even so and I have committed no crime.”  
I yelled internally. Show them, Zarkon! However, his objection didn't make any difference. Morrak sighed and said that the search will still be conducted.  
My mother pulled out the first drawer of Zarkon's table. Zarkon immediately jumped forward, attempting to stop her, but one of the guards tripped him up. Zarkon fell on his knees, but rolled on his back immediately and kicked back. This would have worked if he had only one enemy, but at the same time, the second galra hit him in the jaw so hard that his head flew back. They forced him on his knees.  
„Why would he protest if he was innocent?” my mother asked triumphantly.  
She emptied all the drawers of the table, but there was nothing but books and exercise sheets. My father was watching her with a bored look on his face. I knew he had a meeting with his general that evening, so he wasn't particularly happy about having to sacrifice his afternoon nap for this search.  
My mother was almost ready to give up and move to the wardrobe, when my father narrowed his eyes and bent over one of the drawers.  
„Why is this one smaller?” he asked suddenly and tapped on the drawer’s back panel.  
The panel made a hollow sound, making my heart sink. My father pressed it harder, it cracked and opened. Behind it, there was a simple black box. My father pulled it out and turned it over on the table, looking at Zarkon very intensely. Zarkon was now looking down at the floor. Commander Morrak gasped, letters after letters slipped down the heap and slowly landed on the floor, so many of them.  
Zarkon must have considered himself in safety on Galra, so he didn’t destroy the letters as we agreed. He kept every one of them instead.  
My mother would open the letters and read parts of them aloud. The findings were annihilating. All my complaints about my parents were read aloud, all my plans of escaping my duties, all Zarkon’s suggestions on that topic. They dug in the heap of letters that Zarkon kept with together with pinecones and dry leaves from our gardens on Altea. The only thing that wasn't present in the box was that hairpin with a tooth that I gave him at the end.  
All of this was already terrible enough, because it showed the degree of closeness that we tried our best to cover. My mother's face grew darker with every new letter. Suddenly, my father hit his fist on the table.  
“Teenagers!” he murmured through his teeth. “Ungrateful bastards. You provide them with everything their heart desires and they still write such nonsense to their friends.” He looked at me with hatred.  
“Moira, this is enough, we need to stop wasting our time. This was all a false alarm. All she did was complain about us, and I don’t intend to listen to it anymore.”  
“What do you mean, false alarm?”, my mother asked angrily, “Didn’t you hear what they wrote?”  
“They are teenagers, Moira. Stupid, spoiled teenagers. Everyone in their age complains about their parents, but there is no treason in these letters. Alva will receive a punishment, but it was not worth bothering the high chancellor.”  
My father turned towards the door, when my mother pulled one more letter from the base of the heap, unfolded it and gasped. She read it aloud, then searched hastily for another piece of the same paper and read it. Zarkon rushed to interrupt her once more, but the guards were holding him tightly. I stood there, frozen and listened to my mother’s voice as if through thick glass.  
It turned out that Zarkon wrote drafts that he never sent to me and that also landed in this box. He wrote love letters.  
_You smile_ , he wrote, _and first the right corner of your lips curls up, then the left one. You chew you hair when you think intensely, and when you do, I am going mad with desire to kiss you. ___  
“This is private!” Zarkon roared, kicking the guards with mad desperation, they had to use their combined force to overpower him. “This is not for you! Get your hand off my papers!”  
“I never received any of it!” I yelled, “He never sent those!”  
_I miss you like I've never missed anything in my life. Every day without you is a dark and cold night and I need your letters more than air to breathe. I would like to write you ten pages every day, but I am afraid that this way you will grow bored of me and leave me alone again. You are so much better than me; I would do anything just to be able to see you from a distance, just to know you are well. ___  
I never saw any of those letters before, never heard any of these words, but it didn't matter. Now, it wasn't just bad influence between teenagers. As soon as any kind of intimate relationship was hinted, I was once again treated as royal property. From now on, Zarkon was a criminal of the crown.  
When my mother finished reading, there was shocked silence. My father was the first one to react.  
“Coran, take the princess somewhere. Morrak, the cadet needs to be imprisoned. Chancellor, please discuss this matter with me immediately in private.”  
“I didn’t mean to send those!” Zarkon exclaimed again, but one of the galra guards punched him in the temple and he went silent. They dragged him away, and I followed Coran into the neighbouring room like a zombie.  
I should have felt scared, or sad, but no. The only thing I was thinking of was the fact that I hadn’t eaten since morning and that now my stomach started aching. We remained in the room for what seemed like hours to me. Both of us were silent, there was nothing to say.  
We heard a siren and Coran rushed to the window, I followed him. Outside, the sky was grey, covered by thick clouds, and small cold drizzle was pouring on the ground. The square the window opened on was completely surrounded by black walls of the academy. Now, this square was being filled with cadets. They poured out of all doors, most of them looking puzzled, talking agitatedly to each other. They quickly took places on the square, obviously knowing what to do. Seeing those ideal lines hurt me unexpectedly strong. I remembered the day I first saw galra arriving. How different was it!  
When almost the whole square was full, I saw my parents, high chancellor and Morrak enter. They got up the platform.  
“Show the criminal!”  
High chancellor’s voice was very serious. I suddenly felt awake from my apathy and fear clutched my heart. Criminal? Did they already convict him?  
They dragged Zarkon in and I couldn’t suppress a gasp. He was badly beaten, his broken lips were now swollen, but he now had a black eye that spread onto the whole left part of his face and one of his ears hung down under a weird angle. He couldn’t stand straight, so the guards were holding him to prevent him from collapsing on the ground. His head was hanging down, and when he tried to look up, I realised that was probably under drugs, because his face had this absent expression and he wasn't fighting any more.  
“Cadets,” the chancellor went on. “A truly terrible thing has been discovered today. The one you see before is not your fellow cadet any more. He committed the crime against the state and against our allies, noble Alteans”.  
A quiet murmur flew over galra rows. Obeying Morrak’s sign, the guards released Zarkon and pushed him forward. Unable to stand on his own, Zarkon tripled and sank onto the ground helplessly. His face was almost touching the ground now, cold wind threw small portions of water over him.  
“He violated the exceptional trust we put in him,” the chancellor went on, “and used his time on Altea to plan and execute a horrible deed. He chose his prey carefully and assaulted the fair princess Alva.” The murmur from the galra ended in gasp. When my name was said, Zarkon shivered on the ground.  
“His guilt is clear, the evidence overwhelming. His despicable behaviour throws a shadow on all the honest galra; this is why it is especially important to show our clear position on this matter.”  
Morrak now took the place at the microphone. His face seemed cut of stone.  
“By the sanction of the high chancellor, cadet Zarkon is expelled from the academy with immediate effect. All his achievements and awards are revoked.”  
Morrak turned away and gave place in front of the microphone back to the chancellor, his back hunched. One of the guards stepped forward, pulled Zarkon’s limp body from the ground, while the other one ripped off first my ribbon and his badge and then his epaulettes. The epaulettes were sewn well, so he tore them off together with the part of the uniform. Zarkon didn’t react to anything, his head thrown back and his only good eye looking senselessly into the grey sky.  
“Due to highest treason that he committed,” chancellor continued, “ex-cadet Zarkon can no more be called the member of our society. He is to leave any galran territory within twenty-four hours. After that time, anyone who meets him is allowed to shoot him on sight.”  
The cruelty of the sentence was so ridiculous, so incomparable with the crime, that the whole situation seemed surreal to me. Seeing Zarkon in a torn, dirty uniform, with his hands bound behind his back, humiliated and destroyed, seemed like some kind of an unrealistic nightmare.  
My parents came to pick me and Coran up, and we all returned to Altea that same evening. I had to live with this realisation what my parents have done, what I have done with these stupid letters. Why did my father react so harshly? What danger did he see in Zarkon? Why did he decide to crush us? I never dared to ask...”  
Haggar panted and grabbed the collar of her robes, as if she lacked air. Allura put her hand on the witch's shoulder, but she shook it off.  
“I forgot it! I forgot him!” Haggar exclaimed, looking Allura directly in the eyes, desperation on her face.  
“I forgot everything that happened. Or, not exactly forgot... I just couldn't think about it, I guess. I remembered that galra visited us, even some details remained, but Zarkon disappeared from my mind completely. I erased him from my consciousness and I went on living like nothing happened. And yet it wasn't the same.  
I became really frail, getting sick from each cold ice cream. I started scratching myself and very soon my hands and neck were covered with red, soaking scratch wounds. I didn't understand what was happening, my parents tried many different medicines, but nothing helped. I developed an enormous appetite, especially for sweets, gained weight. I got insomnia and started stuttering. I would spend hours lining up objects to achieve ideal order and washed my hands until my skin would start hurting, otherwise I would feel dirty. To be honest, I was a wrack.  
At that time I also became blunt, for the lack of another term. I would read a passage and forget it before I finished the next one, and I lost my ability to solve mathematical problems almost completely. This essentially meant that my dream of entering a university was done for. My parents must have guilty, I guess, so they still pulled some strings and made sure that I was admitted. Or they just wanted to get rid of me in the castle. Anyway, I was first enrolled into year-long preparatory department and then admitted, albeit to a less prestigious faculty, agriculture instead of biology.  
Four years have passed until I heard of my Emperor again.


	11. Chapter 11

I spent the next four years at the campus. My studies were far from successful, since I could hardly learn. I would forget even simplest answers and struggled to pull through exams, being grateful for even the worst grades, just to pass. They kept me, though, partially due to my royal status and partially because I helped a lot in the laboratories, washing the equipment after experiments and doing all the tedious repetitive work that I started liking so much and that no one else wanted to do.  
I also became really social, albeit in a weird way. I would tag along to all parties and bars, unable to spend evenings on my own due to panic attacks and scratching, but there I would sit in the corner, avoiding talking to anyone, eating a lot. My classmates considered me a lunatic, but a harmless one. They tolerated my presence, but I had no real friends. I missed my brothers very much at that time and tried to contact them as often as I could, but Alfred was very busy with his royal duties and Alfor was sent to a boarding school in the south, where they didn't allow almost all communications.  
I trailed through life like a slug, having neither particular plans nor wishes. During all those years, not a single notable event happened to me. I think I had a depression, but no one advised me to see a doctor on that matter. I would see many specialists for my health problems, but when they healed one symptom, another one popped up. I reconciled with my hideous looks in the mirror and stopped caring for my clothes at all.  
  
It was the end of semester, so we would spend a lot of time in the library, studying. I was walking in the crowd of students pouring from the library into the canteen, when someone took my hand and put something into it. I grabbed the object instinctively, and something sharp pricked my palm.I looked at it and didn't believe my eyes.

Lying on my palm was the _tooth hairpin_.

I think I stared at it for some time, because a blow in the back made me return to the reality. A student behind me was pushing me aside, because I was blocking the way. I apologized and wandered off without any particular direction.  
I looked at the pin, but what I saw was the dark square and long black lines of galra cadets, and my parents on the platform, their heads high, judging. I saw the mindless expression on Zarkon’s severed face, his yellow eye staring into the greay sky as if trying to find help there. I remembered my ribbon being torn off and thrown into the puddle. I remembered his broken ear and felt as if I was lying on the ground that day.  
A wave of rage filled me, tears burnt my eyes, I couldn’t breathe. All the memories I repressed fell onto me like an avalanche of pain and bitter helplessness. They ruined us, I thought. They took the most intimate things in front of the crowd. They let their pride dance on our bodies. They broke me and killed him because of unsent letters.  
But then I realised: they didn’t! They didn't manage to kill him, he lives! He must have achieved some standing, being able to send someone to give me the pin! And I live, too! I live and I remember.  
I sat down on a warm stone bench and raised my head to feel the sun shining on my face. It seemed like for the first time in these terrible years I could see straight, without a grey veil on my eyes. I could breathe fully. I felt my body, every toe. My thoughts were clear and concise. Now that I knew Zarkon was alive, I finally felt alive myself.  
Billions of questions filled my mind. So Zarkon didn’t die from those drugs they gave him and was not killed for not leaving the city on time. Where could he have gone? What is he doing now? How did he know where to contact me? Does he need help? How and when can I see him again?  
Now it was impossible to find the student who pushed the pin into my palm in the crowd, but it couldn’t have been Zarkon himself. No matter what disguise he would’ve taken, his gigantic height would have made him noticeable anywhere, he wouldn't take that risk. He must have hired someone, or scared someone into doing it. He still cares enough to put effort into it!  
I sat on the bench for a long time, brushing through my memories with relish. I savoured every detail I could find. I remembered our first conversation and how he recognized my awkwardness. I cherished every evening we spent wandering through the garden, watching purple shadows fall on the ground. I restored every feature of his face in my mind, every tone of his voice, every gesture and every emotion.  
And then it occurred to me: pirates! He must have become a pirate! Where would an outcast without any relatives or money go? Pirate nest would be exactly the place for him to use his unique piloting skills and succeed due to his unstoppable will. And he already tried to escape there once!  
Fear stroke me again: what if it is a trap? What if they are testing me? I didn’t ask myself who “they” were, but I immediately knew that I didn’t have the right to repeat our past mistakes. The pin needed to disappear. I looked frantically around me and shoved it into a crack between the bench and its leg.  
The pin returned me to life, but also settled a constant fear in my heart. I would lie in my bed at night and imagine all the horrors that could happen to Zarkon. I also constantly feared being detected again. During the days, I now felt full of energy, but I had to be very careful and play depressed in order to avoid suspicion. Also, the uncertainty was killing me. What if the pin is a cry for help? What if Zarkon needs me, and I am sitting idly here, waiting for something to happen? But then again, I had no clue on where to start looking for him.  
During one of my sleepless nights, I figured out how Zarkon might have found out about my studies. A couple of months before I received the pin, my parents insisted that I took part in a family photo that was later published in the newspapers together with an interview of each family member. I refused to do the interview (or, rather, my body refused – on the interview day, I woke up with terrible fever and sore throat), but the article still mentioned me and my studies at the university. Zarkon must have seen it.  
Now that I had my will to live back, I made changes to my studies. I reapplied to the biological faculty and used my credits to minimize the loss of time. I studied every day as if it was my last one, I drowned every fear in books. Every time I got desperate at night, I got up and started reading a new article. Quickly I became one of the best students. I found special pleasure in being the best, because this reminded me of Zarkon and gave me a feeling of being closer to him. Moreover, I knew that if he struggles to rebuild his life, then I would need to offer him in return something apart from my dubious princess status and scratched crusts between my fingers.  
Of course, knowing that Zarkon was alive didn’t just magically heal me in one day and didn’t make me another person. Instead of apathy, I got anger issues. I would burst out with rage for no reason and offend people, but now I at least had energy to do something, an inner fuel for change.  
I felt I needed to build my own life, become as strong as possible, for the time when I will have to oppose my family openly. I had no illusions that I could do that on my own, but who knows what Zarkon has in store? I felt I needed to gather every resource possible. I started practicing magic again, something I had abandoned a long time ago, and I tried to figure out how to use it for stack and defence. I would find side jobs and spare money. I started jogging to be able to run if needed.  
At the same time, I desperately searched for messages from Zarkon. I started reading all the press I could acquire very attentively. I watched every news episode, especially if it featured pirates. I asked professors who went on field trips to other planets. I waited frantically for any sign. If he managed to give me the pin, he surely can do it again. And yet there was nothing. Many times I thought I found something, but it always was false alarm.  
  
I finished my studies even earlier than expected and stayed at the university as an assistant professor. By that time, my parents completely lost any hope of marrying me to a useful person and pretty much forgot about my existence. I kept spending all my spare time alone, but I was really content with my life. I became self-sufficient internally and externally, for the first time I felt truly successful: I earned my own money and my work completely filled my mind. It became the source of happiness for me, a pillar I relied upon. One could say, it was both my bread and my circuses.”  
Haggar laughed quietly under her nose.  
“What did you study?” Allura asked quietly.  
“Smaller balmeran fauna. Balmeras offer conditions that are far from optimal for most life forms, yet both their surface and the tunnels swarm with animals. Both the density of population and its diversity are absolutely exceptional. My aim was to find out why.”  
“And, did you find out?”  
“Of course I did, what do you think I am? I chose the topic mostly by accident, but this research established ground for half my future work. I discovered that the reason those animals thrived was quintessence, stored in Balmera, and, as I later found out, exuded by its whole surface. Quintessence made them stronger, healthier and let them live longer. My Lord wouldn’t have been here, if I didn’t dissect those balmeran rabbits.  
Before me, no one really connected magical abilities and quintessence. Also, quintessence was never condensed as a separate physical entity and we weren’t even sure if it actually existed or was just a property of the crystals Balmera produced. In general, magical abilities were a sort of forbidden topic in our scientific society, because it was impossible to study them without harming wizards and we were too clean for such methods.  
Balmeran crystals were thoroughly researched from the engineering point of view, their physical qualities known perfectly, as well as their usability as a fuel, but what no one seemed to have asked themselves was their connection with their host and producer. How does a Balmera make crystals and what exactly happens when a wizard shares his energy it in return?  
I was the first one to claim that these two things, magical abilities among alteans and exceptional qualities of crystals, were of the same nature and both were induced by quintessence. It provoked a scandal, my first work was claimed pseudoscientific, but I wouldn't give up without a fight. Now that I am telling it afterwards, it all looks so smooth and logical, but back then, I was wandering around like a blind puppy, stumbling into false ideas and chasing possibilities that never existed. It took me years and years of research to formulate my theory in a concise way.  
Like all pesky little brothers do, Alfor followed into my steps and also decided to study, he chose engineering. I told him about the pin, but he didn’t believe me. Years spent apart did a heavy blow on our closeness, and he blamed me for the whole misery that happened because of those letters, which didn’t exactly provide a base for a warm relationship. Our paths went apart for the time being.  
Years have passed and I started wondering if I will ever see Zarkon again. The memory of him stopped making me ecstatic; it became more like a pacifier, an old blanket that you tuck your face into when you cannot sleep. I lived with his image in my head for so long that it became an integral part of my own personality. I talked to him so much in my imagination that I sometimes couldn’t tell if a certain argument was his opinion or my own. I sometimes found out that I didn’t remember him as well any more. He stayed somewhere in the back of my head, like a ghost, a memory of a memory.  
I would go to conferences, and apart from tasty foods they would offer me handsome and educated young men to meet, from all possible races and origins. Many of them wouldn’t mind hooking up with a princess, but I was hesitant. My body ached for an adventure, but all of these men were so mundane, so usual. None of them gave me thrills, made me forget about time, opened my eyes to something new. And they were selfish, looking only after their own advantage, calculating pros and cons in their heads.  
Or perhaps I was spoiled, having had Zarkon, who set the bar so high that no one could even closely reach it. No one in the world gave me this sweet concentrated attention, no one was so determined on making my life better, no one was so unnaturally attentive to my needs, no one bore his exuberant energy and steel determination. And so, each evening, I would return to my rooms alone, each time a little more insecure if I shouldn't perhaps just settle with what life offers me. I started thinking about making long-term plans, and they didn't involve my old friend. Silly me.  
Shortly after my twenty-fifth anniversary, my life was broken to pieces once more, and it was only thanks to Zarkon that it didn't end there.


	12. Chapter 12

You probably know what happened. My parents, King Laon and queen Moira, together with Alfred went on a diplomatic trip to Balmera, taking their whole entourage with them. During the flight, their ship exploded, instantly reducing everyone and everything on board to submolecular vapour. Overnight, Alfor became an orphan and a king. He was only nineteen at that time.

I received the news while I was at the university. I had just finished a lecture and was about to go drink tea in my office and relax from talking, when a lieutenant of castle guard, a very young and a very handsome boy, approached me. Weirdly, I didn't feel any grief or fear right after he informed about the death of my parents. The only concise thought I had was regret that my quiet moment of relaxation was postponed to quiznak knows when.  
We took the helicopter to the castle. By that time, it has been a long time since I visited home. I was looking out of the helicopter window, feeling as if I returned into my childhood. In the distance, I saw majestic spires of two main bell towers. Over there I recognized the roof, richly decorated with mosaics. There was the lake I liked to sit close to. For some time, I forgot how unhappy I was at this castle, how restrained I felt. I felt nostalgia oversweep me, a regret over times that were never actually there. Unexpected tears burnt my eyes. No matter how angry I was at my parents for betraying me and Zarkon, they were still my family. And I loved Alfred dearly, even if we didn't talk much in the last years. For the first time, I really thought about their deaths. They are gone, all three of them. Almost my whole family is no more. I suddenly felt very lonely. Alfor is surely devastated now, I thought, I need to greet him with a smile and words of reassurance, not tears.  
Our helicopter landed roughly (or was I imagining things?), so when I exited it, I had to pause to regain my balance. This hesitation saved my life, because when I made a step towards the entrance, it seemed that the pavement went alive. The ground beneath me shook and the next moment I found myself lying under the helicopter. My ears were ringing, the thick cloud of dust was clogging my vision and making me cough. It seemed that instinctively, I created a protective shield around myself that was now slowly fading away like purple smoke. I should have run, tried to hide somewhere, but instead I just sat there, shaking my head and blinking like an owl. When the dust settled, I saw the whole picture. The landing platform was destroyed almost completely, in the middle of it was a huge black crater, at least a metre deep. The pavement around it was molten and black, and black smoke was rising from it. I moved and felt something under my palm. I looked down and a cry froze in my throat. The handsome pilot was looking at me with his eyes widely opened. The only thing that lacked was his body.  
Before I could do something, I heard my name being called. Two guards were running towards me. I tried to stand up, by my legs gave in, so they had to carry me inside.

The castle seemed strangely empty, my steps echoed from the walls. I asked the guards what was happening, but they just shook their heads and rushed me further.  
We found Alfor in the main communication hall. It was a relatively small room, with no windows and just one door, but richly decorated and with the most exquisite furniture. From here, our faather used to address the people on special occasions, when his sppeches had to be transmitted all over Altea.  
“Princess has arrived!” the guard reported. “There was an explosion in the landing docs.”  
Alfor rushed to me and hugged me.  
„Are you allright?“ he asked. I nodded, unable to speak properly.  
Seeing Alfor, with black circles around his eyes, was heartbreaking on it's own, but what hit me most was the way his face lit up when he saw me. He was waiting for me, he had hoped for my arrival.  
„Alfor, what was this explosion?“ I asked. „Why would they try to kill me?“  
Alfor sighed.  
“I understand as much as you do, Alva. They didn't just try to get you, they shot Coran, too!”  
He nodded to the corner. I made a few steps aside and saw Coran. He was lying on the floor, on a quickly assembled mattress, with his jacket under his head. His eyes were shut and on his shoulder, sipping through the bandage, I saw a huge blood spot. Coran didn't look good at all, I realised, so I sat down near him and was about to connect to his mind and activate the natural defences of his body, when Alfor stopped me.  
“I already pumped him up,” he said. “Don't overstretch it.”  
I kept looking into Coran's lifeless face without raising my head. So Alfor found time and concentration to perform this long and delicate procedure, but he failed to inform himself about the situation in the castle. Very useful.  
“Where is everyone? Why is the castle so emtpy?” I asked, standing up.  
„Well, almost everyone was on that ship with our parents“ Alfor's voice broke. „When the shooting started, most of the servants ran off, too. I can't blame them, they are scared.“  
I felt a surge of irritation burn in my stomach. Why does he have to be such a wuss when decisive actions are needed?  
“What is your plan, Alfor? You are the king, what do you attempt to do?”  
Alfor was still fidgeting his sleeve indecisively.  
“Leave us.” I snapped at the guard. He bowed and exited. I heard him say something to the other guard outside. Well, at least there is a security post, so we are protected from further explosions for a while.  
“Why?” Alfor asked bleakly. “What did he do to deserve such treatment?”  
The guard didn't interest me any more.  
“Alfor, this is your castle now, do something! Someone tried to kill us, and you are sitting here like a mouse in a hole? Adress the army, you are the king now, they should come here and protect you!“  
“I was not supposed to be king! I am an engineer! Why do expect me to know what to do? And I don't know how to speak to the military! Father raised Alfred as his heir! Now I am suddenly supposed to know things? I didn't even want this! I had to leave my team in the middle of a project, I need to return to them, by the way!”  
This last sentence made me lose patience. I grabbed Alfor by the shoulder.  
“Shut up, you whining slug!” I hissed in his face. „Engineer, ha! Now you are the king, so be so kind to act accordingly!“  
„How come I am the king?“ Alfor shouted back at me. „You are older, you should be the queen if you know so much! Go, try it, miss I-need-decisions!“  
To be honest, I knew he was right, but I didn't want to admit it.  
„You know damn well that women don't inherit any titles! You are now the only member of our family who can rule!“  
„Oh, so now I am suddenly supposed to throw my whole life into trash and do some weird ruling?“  
„You have to! The last thing our planet needs now is the fall of monarchy and revolts! Think about our people! “  
„And who will think about me?“  
We stared at each other with hatred, breathing heavily. To be honest, now I am very ashamed of the way I treated Alfor that day. His first reaction to his ascension to the throne was panic, and for a reason. He knew without my reminders that he was now the last remaining member of the royal family from the male line. If he was to be killed, our family line would come to an end, and this would offer many other noble families access to the trone. Sitting closed up in the until more knowledge was gathered was not such a bad idea at all, but I failed to see it. When I demanded actions from him, I tried to push him into the image of our father. I expected him to act like an experienced politician, while he was still a teenager. And he was right about our father keeping him as far from politics as possible, in attempt to prevent him from attempting to cease power from Alfred. I didn't take time to think how difficult it was for him.

I don't know how this strife would have ended, since we were both overwrought and panicking, but we were interrupted. The big communication panel suddenly went alive, registering a high priority call. We exchanged glances. High priority calls were reserved among the members of the family, closest advisors and the heads of the state. There was literally no one who could have been calling us with high priority at that moment.  
“This could be trap!” I whispered, looking at the panel very attentively. The call was encrypted, and no information was provided. Alfor hesitated, but then approached it and pressed his palm to the screen, accepting the call.

The big screen opened, for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, I saw Zarkon.

He gave us no time to react, no time to watch him closely. The second the call was registered, he started speaking quickly.  
“Alfor! Oh, didn't expect to reach you that easy. Listen, there will be an assassination attempt aiming at you within next hours. I am sending you my coordinates, open me a cargo-ship-sized wormhole to the orbit right away, J will come and help you fight it off. Hurry, time is of essence. And send a trusted person to find Alva right away. Don’t attempt to leave the castle or do anything heroic.”  
“Zarkon, there has already been an attack. And Alva is right here.” Alfor answered casually, turning the camera under a better angle to capture me.  
Zarkon shot a quick glance at me, then turned to look at something behind the screen, listening to someone we couldn’t see. Really? Is that how he greets me?  
“There will be more attacks. This is an insecure connection, I can’t tell you any details without risking compromising my sources of information, but believe me, they won’t leave you alone. You can’t trust you military right now, open me a wormhole, my men will secure you for the time being.”  
Alfor didn't move.  
“I can’t trust my military, but I can trust a pirate crew?” he asked Zarkon.  
“A pirate crew doesn’t have the ambition to start a new royal line on Altea!” Zarkon snapped. “Stop spieling and prepare the goddamn wormhole, unless you want your funeral to be within next days.”  
Pirate crew? So it is true, then? How does Alfor know Zarkon is a pirate? I looked at Zarkon more attentively. The screen showed almost only his face, but I saw that his black uniform was gone. Now he was wearing a turtleneck and some kind of weird multi-layered jacket. Is this what pirates look like?  
Alfor sighed and bent over the controls.  
„All right,“ he said, „I will waste a month's supply of energy on the wormhole. I just hope it is worth ot.“  
I thought Zarkon would say something to me now, but he remained silent and looked somewhere past the screen. I tried to think of something to say, but my mind conveniently shut itself off, so I watched Zarkon's cheek in silence, while Alfor was muttering something over the control panel. An upbeat melody indicated that the wormhole was ready. Zarkon reacted immediately – he grabbed a blaster and barked a short order to someone invisible on his ship. We saw shades rushing out in the background.  
„Hold the wormhole, we are entering,“ were the last words before he switched off the connection.


	13. Chapter 13

The ship was huge. It hung over the castle like a second planet. I never had anything to do with space travel, and even I understood how huge it was. They seemingly installed additional armour, because the ship was now partially covered in shining panel, making it look like a weird overweight zebra.  
„No way!“ Alfor whispered. I turned to him. My brother's eyes were sparkling, he was hardly able to contain laughter.  
„What is it?“ I asked, frowning.  
„This is the Devourer, didn't you hear the story?“  
I shook my head.  
„The Trade League built this extra huge space ship to transport wheat within the Dalterion Belt. It was stolen mere quintants after it started on the first mission. Well done, Zarkon! I just wonder how he managed to hide it until now.“  
Zarkon stole a ship? Zarkon, Mr. prim-and-proper? Well, of course he did, he is a pirate now...  
The ship docked right into the castle's garden, and we were watching it from a balcony, surrounding the inner part of the castle land. The pirates were pouring out like a swarm of grey ants and immediately dispersed around the castle. On motorcycles, on mini-jets, some of them on foot or equipped with reactive jumper backpacks. They were a weird mix, I hardly every saw more than two members of the same race. Everything happened in dead silence. No one was talking, giving orders, but everyone seemed to know their roles. This coordinated silence fellt eerie, even unnatural. Five or six soldiers, all heavily armed with rifles, surrounded us in a living protection circle.  
Zarkon appeared towards the end. He jumped out on foot with energy and decisiveness I didn't remeber from him. The grew even more since I last saw him, and became even more muscular. There was no sign of his awkward slouchiness any more, a single glance he threw at the crew was enough to understand who is in command now.  
Three small, strudy built aliens followed Zarkon out, carrying a laser canon. They got delayed, and, to my amazement, Zarkon, instead of helping, gave the last one such a kick that the poor guy squeaked in pain. Alfor gasped and opened his mouth to protest, but Zarkon didn't let him speak.  
„The communication room is a good choice, get back there and stay inside,“ he told us, running up to the balcony. „We shall secure the castle. Izk!“  
A huge, very hairy galra from our protection circle turned towards Zarkon.  
„Excort their majesties! The rest of you, come with me.“  
Before any of us could add something, he turned and headed towards a ladder to the dungeons. The rest of the soldiers surrounding us followed him.  
„Zarkon, wait!“ Alfor exclaimed. Zarkon turned back. „I really don't think there is anything in the castle. I bet whoever did this is already...“  
He didn't finish. As soon as the first soldier stepped on the ladder, we heard a quiet poof, and the man sunk to the floor. Another poof followed immediately, and, as if in a nigtmare, I saw another soldier gasp and grab his stomach, before falling down.  
“Down!” Zarkon yelled.  
I felt a strong hand push me down and had to grab onto Alfor to avoid falling. When I looked up again, everything has changed. The remaining soldiers dispersed and lay low. Zarkon was muttering something into his communicator and gesturing commands simultaneously. The small aliens dropped the canon and were now taking their places behind it.  
„Zarkon, we have to...“ Alfor started, but everyone shushed him so energetically that he stopped in the middle of the sentence. Everyone kept lying quietly, only one of the surviving soldiers crawled towards his fallen comrades and tried to find the pulse in vain. He then pulled something from the wound and showed in to Zarkon. Zarkon tok it and examined it, but then shook his head.  
Zarkon seemed to be waiting for something. Finally, his communicator croaked something again, and he gestured the soldiers to get ready. Another hovercycle appeared from the ship's belly. Another poof followed. The machine fell down and exploded with a terrible crack. At the same time, Zarkon and Izk jumped up. Zarkon lifted his gun and shot, but Izk was faster. In one sleek movement, he pulled something out and threw it. We heard a muffled shriek.  
„Get him!“ Zarkon roared, rushing forward. The soldiers followed. Now that Izk wasn't pressing us towards the floor, Alfor and I stood up and looked around us. Other pirates were also moving and getting up. The bodies of those dead soldiers were still lying near the ladder, where they fell. What remained of the hovercycle was slowly burning in the yard, producing a column of thick black smoke, but there was no sign of the pilot.  
Zarkon and the soldiers crowded the other side of the balcony. When they returned, we saw that they were pulling somebody with them: a thin, small elderly man with a ponytail and a goatee. One of his eyes was swollen and he breathed unevenly. I opened my mouth, unable to speak with amazement. Alfor reacted first.  
„Uncle Mova? What are you doing here? Are you hurt?“ he asked, rushing forward and attempting to hung the man. Zarkon didn't seem to share the family feelings, because he took Alfor by the shoulder and stopped him form coming any closer.  
„Alfor, my dear boy!“ the uncle screamed. „I am so glad you are here! This is all a misunderstanding! Who are these people and why are they invading our castle?“  
„I am so happy to see you, too, uncle! Those are friends, don't worry, it will all be cleared soon. Zarkon, what are you doing, let me go! And stop holding uncle like that, it hurts!“ Alfor was trying to break free.  
„He had this,“ Zarkon showed us a strange weapon, vaguely resembling a light crossbow, made of wood. I never saw it in my life, but Alfor went visibly pale.  
„Have you ever seen it?“ Zarkon asked. Alfor nodded.  
„It is a weapon used by the tribes in the forests of Nazzania. It shoots explosive needles. Uncle Mova, how did you get it? Did you find it in the castle?“  
„He was trying to shoot us from it!“ Zarkon exclaimed, havin seemingly lost patience. „Snap out of it, this man was involved in the attacks! Come, we need to question him.“  
Zarkon turned to go to the communication room and waved his men to take uncle Mova with him, but Alfor blocked his way.  
„Zarkon, release uncle Mova immediately. And don't even think about treating him like that any more.“  
Zarkon stared at him, speechless.  
„Did you fall on your head today or what?“ he finally asked. Alfor made a step forward and frowned.  
„Fine,“ Zarkon sighed. „Just let us head back to the control room.“

When we came inside, Zarkon left all his men outside, except for Izk. The huge galra went along the walls, knocking on them and listening to the sound in attempt to find secret doors. Zarkon didn't seem to pay any attention to him.  
He was holding the uncle by the collar of his shirt and was exmining him very closely.  
„Who sent you, you scum?“ he roared suddenly, shaking the old man mercilessly. Mova squaked in horror, but Alfor interfered.  
„Zarkon, stop it. We need to handle this in a civilized way!“  
The hairy soldier galra snorted.  
„Shut up,“ Zarkon told him. „What do you want to do, Alfor? This man is no doubt one of the rebels who tried to kill you.“  
„They don't know better. They think that I will be a bad king, because I don't have any political experience. I need to prove them wrong, but not resort to violence, do you understand?“ He looked up, and something changed in Zarkon's face.  
„You are crazy,“ he murmured, „you were always not of this world, and now you are dragging me into it, too.“  
„I know I can succeed, if you would just help me!“  
Zarkon shook his head.  
„Fine,“ he said. „What is your plan?“  
Alfor's face lit up.  
„Thank you!“ he exclaimed, touching Zarkon's elbow. „You won't regret your decision, my friend!“  
Did Zarkon just smile a little?


	14. Chapter 14

“I need to address my people!” Alfor exclaimed. “I need to show them that I exist, that I am not some idiot and that nothing has changed for them. I need to take their fear away, this way they won’t join whoever is trying to kill me and this whole idea will just die out.”  
“And what will you do about those who tried to assassinate you and your sister?” Zarkon asked. Alfor frowned.  
“They will need to face trial, but it is not my primary concern right now.”  
“Oh, so we are supposed to protect you, and you will just let the terrorists go away? I already lost two of my men today, I will not sacrifice any more, if you don't take action.”  
“I will take action, but I first need to prevent other people from joining the rebels. And this is precisely what I am going to do by speaking publicly.”  
Wow, I thought, suddenly your brain started working. This idea seemed crazy to me, and I was sure that Zarkon would protest, but he just looked at Alfor, then at the uncle, curled at the floor, then at Alfor again and nodded.  
“Fine, do that.” He said.   
If anything I knew about Zarkon was still true, he had thought of something. Alfor turned and went into the dressing cabinet. Zarkon pulled out his communicator.  
“Rakkor, send everyone from the boarding crew to the jets and have them stand ready for assault. Connect to...” Zarkon bowed down toward the communication panel and dictated the wave code.  
“Signal for assault is finger drum. The place will be named, but you need to find it on the map. It will be an official communication, so watch closely.”  
“Yes, capt’n!” the communicator answered. “Should I also send the ones from security duties?”  
“Everyone!” Zarkon ordered and added after a little pause. “And send the doc down here with emergency kits, we will need him.” 

I helped Alfor dress. The communication room and a big closet with various garments, suitable for almost every occasion. We took a pink and white suit, to mark his mourning. I combed and arranged his hair. The suit was sewn for our father, so the trousers were too long for Alfor. When he saw it, his lips twitched so that I was aftraid that he would start crying. He looked to the side and sighed.  
„Do you know what you are going to say?“ I asked quietly in his ear to distract him. „Perhaps make a test speech just for us?“  
„If I have to say it two times, I will not be able to refrain from tears.“ he answered. „It is fine. I shall manage. I had to make spontaneous speeches when I was at Galra.“  
I sighed. Our father taught us that the best improvisation is the trained one, but I knew how Alfor felt and I also wanted to get over with it. In the meantime, Zarkon arranged the communication channel. Is there something this man cannot do?   
„Won't you also make a speech?“ he asked me.  
I shook my head. I didn't want to have anything to do with ruling, so it was better for me not to be seen now. Alfor said he needed to stay alone for a while to sort his thoughts out and closed himself up in the closet. Zarkon and I remained alone, apart from Mova, who was still sitting on the floor, shaking his head, and the hairy Izk.  
„I didn't know your father had brothers,“ Zarkon said to me.  
„He didn't. Mova is in fact the son of our grandfathers's brother-in-law, or our cousin-uncle-in-law. We just call him uncle for shortness.“  
„Your who-in-law?“ Zarkon seemed to have trouble processing our family structure. I laughed out, the first laugh I had in this terrible day, but it died as soon as it came to me.  
„I would have never had thought he would try to kill us.“  
„I didn't!“ Mova shrieked. „This is slander! The foreigners roam my castle and attack me, and you believe them, child!“  
„Your castle?“ I asked coldly. „Since when is it your castle?“  
Mova gulped.  
„Well, it is Alfor's now, of course, but you know what I mean, don't pick my words apart, you rude girl.“   
I felt hair on my neck stand up with rage, but, before I could say anything, Zarkon interfered.  
„She won't need to do that if I pick you apart.“  
Alfor stuck his head out of the closet's door.  
„Stop it, all of you!“ he said, looking irritated. „Why can't you all just shut up for a minute and let me concentrate?“  
Zarkon averted his eyes, but I felt triumphant. Zarkon still tried to protect me, what a wonderful feeling! All of us stepped aside, Alfor took a deep breath and waved Zarkon to start the transmission.  
His speech turned out to be very eloquent, much more smooth than I'd expected it to be, and of course, a thousand times better than anything I could say myself. He announced the death of our parents officially, briefly explained how it happened(at least they didn't suffer, I thought), mentioned the attack and then went on to what he actually wanted to say.  
„Terrorism is not the altean way,“ he said. „We Alteans respect and support each other. We don't bite each other's throats while chasing personal benefits, we find ways for peaceful coexistence. When I become king, my first and main objective would be to support these altean values, make sure they are never broken and spread them to those who are ready to accept them outside of our planet.“  
I saw Zarkon raise his eyebrows sarcastically when we heard the last sentence. To be honest, these words also seemed utopian to me, but I didn't want to fight him because of it. Life will tell who is right anyway. In general, I really liked Alfor's speech.   
“I am your king, but I am not your ruler. You and you alone hold the key to a successful future in your hands. I believe in you, in your ability to solve problems in a productive way. Calling yourself an Altean is a proud title on it's own. Let us make sure that this title rises to further glory!”  
Alfor made a step back and looked at Zarkon to switch off the channel, but our pirate friend had other plans.


	15. Chapter 15

Zarkon turned the communicator to himself and straightened. Now he was looking down on everyone watching this channel from his whole gigantic height.  
“Your kind king has spoken, now you will listen to me” he said and his deep voice filled every corner of the room.  
“To every rebellious rat out there, I have just one thing to say. Look at me and tremble in fear, for I will find you and I will skin you alive. I will locate every single of you who attacked the castle today, no matter what deep hole you choose to hide in.”  
The contrast to the previous speech was overwhelming, and that's what Zarkon planned to achieve. Alfor exclaimed something unintelligible and rushed forward to stop him, but Izk grabbed him by the forearm and shook his head.  
“I already have one of your kind,” Zarkon went on and pulled Mova from the ground to show him to the communicator. The man squeaked, as Zarkon shook him in the air.   
“Name us every single of your companions and where they hide.” Zarkon demanded. Stupid man didn't yet realise who he was dealing with. He cocked his head.  
“Unhand me, you beast!” he exclaimed, his voice high-pitched. “I am the member of altean nobility, you will deeply regret ever touching me!”  
Zarkon didn't even look at him.  
“He denies. He backtalks. He doesn’t yet know what will happen to him.” Zarkon told to the camera. “Now he shall learn.”  
Zarkon clutched Mova's neck with one hand, and with the other, in one single sleek movement, he grabbed his ear and tore it off.  
Mova uttered a high-pitched shriek, a fountain of blood doused Zarkon, who shook the man and repeated his question. Instead of answering, Mova kept screaming, until a terrible blow in the stomach silenced him. We were all standing there, watching it, frozen with horror, only Alfor struggled to escape the grip that was holding him in place.  
Zarkon turned his wild, blood-strained face to the camera once more. The camera lens was also covered in drops of blood, so I was unsure now how much the viewers could see. He pulled out the dagger.  
“Since he continues denying, there is no point in keeping him alive.”  
The tip of the dagger pressed deep into the skin on the man’s throat. The man whined, blood from his ear dipping on Zarkon’s sleeve. Deeper. The first drop of blood on his throat appeared, and Alfor twitched wildly in Izzik’s grip, who now also put his hand on the king’s mouth. But it was unnecessary. The old man broke.  
“Stop, I will speak!” he screamed. Zarkon grabbed his hair with a triumphant smile.   
“Locations!” he demanded. The man started naming, and with each new name, Zarkon’s fingers on the dagger twitched slightly.  
“Names!”   
The man sobbed and stuttered. Zarkon pressed the dagger tighter to his throat again, and he continued. All names were unknown to us, these must have been underdogs.  
“He already told us everything, so I don't have any use for him any more. I will be coming for you next.”  
With his last words, Zarkon shoved the dagger into the man's throat and let the body fall down on the ground before switсhing out the communicator.  
Almost immediately the small arusian rushed towards the body and started applying patches.   
“What the hell are you doing? What was that?” we yelled almost synchronously. Zarkon just grinned and didn't honour us with an answer.   
“Now!” he barked into his communicator, and immediately we heard engines roaring from outside.  
Zarkon turned to us, his eyes sparkling with triumph.  
„They are done for!“ he exclaimed. „My men will capture them at once. Did you notice how all their lairs are close to the capittal? This attack was planned a long time ago, I'm telling you!“  
But Alfor didn't care about Zarkon's thoughts.  
„You are a vile man,“ he hissed, making a step towards the galra. „I despise you and your methods and I don't care for any of your ideas. You are hereby forbidden from exiting the castle. And give me your communicator!“  
I think it was shock that made Zarkon hand over his device.  
„Pirate ship, King Alfor of Altea speaking. I hereby grant all of you pardon and asylum on my planet. You are free to stay here, if you abandon your captan's violent ways and swear to never brak law again.“  
Zarkon gasped and tried to grab the communicator, but Alfor was faster.   
„Do you understand me?“ he asked, running behind me. A complete silence was the answer to his words. Then Izk started laughing, and we heard laughter from behind the door, too. Zarkon finally managed to take away his communicator and switched it off. Alfor just turned his head to and fro. Finally, Izk was able to speak clearly again.  
„You might be a king, but you really funny!“ he exclaimed. „Did you really think we would leave our captain over some dude's empty promise? Every single of us has received better offers, but chose to stay anyway.“  
„If you are done with nonsence, let us focus on our goal here. The field squads must be approaching their target locations now.“ Zarkon said irritably. „And for what you tried to do, Alfor, you shall pay dearly later on.“  
However, Zarkon's hopes to capture rebels in the locations that Mova named were useless. All the assault teams returned empty-handed. Zarkon was outraged, he demanded from Alfor that Mova would be tortured again, but Alfor refused.  
When were finally after the speech and subsequent planning, it was already late evening. We stood on the balcony again, the wind brought the scent of flowers from the garden.   
„I think we did it“ Alfor said. „If not for you guys, I would have probably been dead by now. “  
„Don't relax too soon“ Zarkon said. „Your enemies just lay low for a while, you will still need to do a lot to secure you reign.“  
„The only thing I need to do right now is to sleep“ Alfor said. „And I advise you guys to do the same.“ Zarkon opened his mouth to protest, but I couldn't hear their strategical blabbering any more.  
„I am very tired, too, and very bored of deciding your state affairs. I am going to sleep.“  
I turned back and left, hearing as behind me, Zarkon was telling last oders to his men.


	16. Chapter 16

It was late, and I was tired as I haven't been for years, but still I lay on my bed and couldn't fall asleep. I remembered the head of the castle guard, looking at me with his widely opened, dead eyes. I shivered, realising how close was I to being killed. The door cracked, and I jumped up, unable to suppress a yelp. It was Alfor.  
“Alva, are you sleeping?” he asked.  
“How can I be sleeping with guests like you? You scared the living daylight out of me!” I said angrily. “Stop sneaking on people.”  
“I am sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you,” Alfor said apologetically, as he sat down on the side of my bed. “I just really need to talk to you alone.”  
“Yes, now this Izk is constantly following us.” I added, but Alfor shook his head.  
“Izk is not the problem; he is actually a really nice guy, from what I can tell. Zarkon is. What happened to him? He is not the guy I knew anymore!”  
“Are we the people he knew?”  
Alfor shook his head and leaned closer in.  
“How can he be so cruel?” he whispered, looking me very closely in the eyes. “Didn't you see what he did to uncle? How could he? This is not the altean way! This is wrong, no matter how you look at it! The poor man is still unconscious! There had to be another way. We had to discuss the problems; surely we would have found a solution. ”  
I felt the irritation come back.  
“If not for Zarkon and his men, we would have been dead. This third assault would have ended us.”  
“The only thing Zarkon achieved now was to vilify my name and forever set it in connection with his nice little performance. How can I rule, if my first speech ended in torturing people before camera?”  
“It wasn't you who tortured him. Later on, you can disown his help; say that you don't appreciate it or something. For now, it was an effective strategy! We found whole three lairs of rebels, even if they were empty! Use his help as long as he offers it, we need it.”  
Alfor looked at me with disgust.  
“You are such a good politician,” he said, standing up. “You and Zarkon would make a fine team.”  
He left, and I sat for a while on my bed. Yes, Zarkon and I would make a fine team indeed. If Zarkon wanted me on his team, which he obviously doesn't. He didn't even greet me. Not even a hello after all these years. I must have spaced out, because when I woke up, it was in the middle of the night.  
I woke up suddenly, scared, sweating and shivering. A terrible cry was still ringing in my ears, but I couldn't quite tell who it was. Around me, everything was quiet. Cool night air coming from the window smelled of roses. What happened? I tried to stretch out mentally, and then I heard it again. A man was screaming, shivering in agony. A knife under his nails, merciless pain, a hand on his throat... A very big and very familiar hand. He opened his eyes, and in front of me, I saw Zarkon's distorted face.  
“Zarkon?” I exclaimed, “what the hell are you doing?”  
Zarkon gasped and let the man's neck go.   
“Alva?” he asked in disbelief.  
“I am coming to you!” the man's lips were hardly moving, I had to strain his worn-out body to its full capacity to make him speak.  
“No!” Zarkon tried to say, but I was already out.  
I quickly pulled a night gown on and ran outside. I entered the mind of the tortured man involuntarily, but who was he? I knew Zarkon was somewhere in the dungeons, but where? Luckily, I didn't have to search for long. Zarkon was standing near the innermost cell, leaning onto the door. I understood who the tortured man was.  
“Zarkon, what do you think you are doing...”   
“Princess, I am doing what is necessary, please stop interrupting...”  
“No!” I exclaimed, “Mova is from the royal family, he also has sacred abilities, albeit very weak ones. You let him scream around as he pleases; what if he wakes Alfor up? You are lucky I was the first one to sense what you are doing, but if it was my brother, he would kick you out immediately! Why did you even start it without saying anything to me? I can shield his mind.”  
Zarkon was looking at me with a strange expression.  
“So you don't mind the fact that I torture him?” he asked sarcastically.  
“I mind the fact that I enter a helicopter with a man and after a quintant I see his head, torn off from his body. I mind when people get shot from behind the corner with an unidentifiable weapon most of us didn't even know existed! And I mind that you rush into decisions without having consulted someone!”  
Zarkon suddenly smiled.   
“I am sorry, Princess, I think I was away for too long and started confusing you with your brother. I would be very honoured if you helped me. What do you need to shield his mind?”  
“I don't need anything but concentration, but wait a little. You wore him out too much. When I entered his mind, he was almost unable to speak. He is old, don’t forget that his heart might stop from too much pain, then we will get nothing out of him. You need to change strategy.”  
Zarkon frowned.  
“No, I need to push on! He is almost broken. I just need to press some more.”  
“Pressing more doesn't always yield optimal results!” I snapped. “Stop acting like a freight train and listen to me. What you need is not to give him more pain...”  
“Tthat is exactly what I need!” Zarkon interrupted me.  
“No, you huge idiot! What you need is to frighten him! You torture him not for the pain itself, but for fear that it will never stop! You need to change strategy. Ever heard about “good pirate-bade pirate” strategy?”  
Now that Zarkon and I were alone, I started feeling the familiar easiness that I thought I lost forever. His presence made me louder and bolder, it was as if my own blood ran faster through my veins when he was around. Zarkon rubbed his temple.  
“I assume you want to be the good pirate?”  
I grinned.  
“Watch and learn.”  
I jumped several times before entering the prison cell. Zarkon was watching me with an expression of genuine curiosity. I pushed the door when my breath became a little ragged, as if from a physical effort.  
Mova was still lying on the floor. He twitched slightly when I entered, but was unable to move. I bent over him, sobbed and brushed my hand over his face.  
“Uncle, dear, please wake up!” I whispered in the sweetest voice I could produce. Behind me, Zarkon was looking through the half open door, but the uncle couldn't see him. Mova opened his eyes.  
“Alva, sweet baby!” he whispered hoarsely. “Where is the monster?”  
“Don't worry, uncle! I managed to ambush him with magic, he is temporarily incapacitated. Uncle, tell me, where are our friends, where can I bring you? My brother is completely under the monster's influence and his people watch over the castle. I need to get help!”  
Mova's eyelids twitched. Perhaps I overdid it, I thought, I should have been a complete idiot to believe what I just said. But he was too weak and broken to think clearly.  
“Listen, all those places I named today were mere decoys. Our guys are gathered in the Anteyan caves, you can get through the southern entrance. Password is... ”   
He inhaled sharply, his fingers started scratching the floor.  
“What is the pasword, uncle?” I asked, bending closer to him.  
“Khh- her-- ah...”  
He inhaled one more time and I felt his body relax in my lap. No, I thought, you are not dying just yet. I put my hands on his chest and sent an impulse.  
“Heritage!” Mova uttered the word with the last ounce of the strength. He looked at me with thankful eyes. I had other plans, though.  
I nodded Zarkon to come in. Mova's eyes widened, he looked at me in shock.  
“You disgusting snake,” I said.  
“Finish him,” Zarkon said behind me, but this was unnecessary. The shock did its job: Mova tried inhaling once more, but failed, and after several doboshes it was over.  
I stood up, feeling strangely empty. I knew Mova tried to kill me and Alfor, broke all possible laws, written and unwritten, but seeing one more member of my family die made me sad.   
“Bad sprout needs to be cleaned on time,” Zarkon said suddenly, and I jumped. “If it persists, it might spoil the good ones.”  
“The good ones being Alfor and me?” I grinned. “Since when can you say compliments like that, Zarkon, is this something you learn as a pirate?”  
Zarkon's face darkened visibly, he didn’t answer anything. We exited to prison cell. I obviously hurt him a lot, but I didn’t understand, why. What did I say? I followed him along the corridor upstairs, he didn’t say anything. In the yard, he turned back to me.  
“Go to sleep, Princess. I will handle the rest.”  
“No, I’ll go with you! I can help you with magic.”  
Zarkon bent down to me, looking me in the eyes.  
“No, you are not going anywhere. You are entirely useless in a battle, magic or no magic. We will only distract ourselves, trying to protect you. You will stay here and go to bed and you will keep your mouth shut about what you saw.”  
“You are not the boss of me and I will decide on my own what to do!”  
He talked to me the way father always did, giving me orders, and I was enraged. Zarkon remained cold as a stone.  
“Of course I am the boss of you. As long as your and your brother's lives are in danger, I am in charge here.”  
“And who made you that?”  
“My proficiency in military matters! I am fed up with this discussion. You are staying in the castle.”  
“If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have achieved anything at all! Your ideas are nonsense! Your attempt to threaten Mova during the communication failed, he gave you only decoys. And if I didn't intervene, you would've simply tortured him to death without finding anything out at all!”  
I shouted the last words into his back. Zarkon left me standing in the yard, shaking from anger and cold night air. He entered the ship, and I heard sounds from inside, but they didn't start the engine. Then several people jumped out and disappeared in different directions. He is gathering his soldiers, I thought. Right. You do the job and then they discard you like a used wrapping. I trudged back to my room, shamed of myself one again. Will I ever learn? I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. What are the chances that Zarkon would still love me after all these years? When did being useful ever provoke love in men’s hearts? Did he even love me before? I heard two lines being read aloud from some weird papers and I already imagined myself a whole world. The fact that he braided my hair over ten years ago doesn't mean he is a good man, not even that he was a good man back then.  
I have already found out that this Zarkon was not the same guy I knew. Righteous Zarkon, patriotic Zarkon, Zarkon the bookworm, Zarkon the honourable galra soldier was gone, and I was fine with that. But where did caring Zarkon go, Zarkon who did his best to please me? I kept him in my heart, I hoped for him to return, and now I felt lonelier than ever before. His steel will deteriorated into dictatorship, I thought. His awareness became paranoia. His keen understanding of human nature made him despise his underlings. And yet he was the same Zarkon. His crew adored him even though he treated them worse than we treated our dogs. When he came to save us, with his quick judgement and decisive actions, Alfor seemed to emerge from his trance. So what went wrong? I didn't know the answer.  
I didn't want to stay at the castle any longer, so right next morning I announced to Alfor that I would be returning to the university. He tried to protest, but I insisted. It wasn't just because of Zarkon, although he contributed a lot to the decision. I also feared that if I stayed, Alfor would pull me into the whole politics he now had to deal with, and I wanted to keep my secluded lifestyle and have time to experiment. When I told Zarkon I was leaving, he hardly reacted. Good luck, was his only answer, he didn't even look at me.


	17. Chapter 17

Next day at the university I saw my students, and they greeted me happily. I looked into their faces, knowing that only two days have passed, but it felt like I hadn't seen them for an eternity. Their words of compassion warmed my heart. After scary and frustrating times in the castle, I finally felt secure and happy. But nothing lasts forever, I guess.

I discovered an unpleasant surprise the next morning. When I woke up and went into my laboratory to write down fresh thoughts from the night, I found a guest there. Izk was sitting in the visitors' armchair, playing a game on his wrist communicator. The device uttered high-pitched sounds. When I entered, Izk didn't even get up, just raised his eyes to me.  
„Good morning, princess,“ he said.  
„What the hell are you doing here unannounced?“ I asked angrily, wrapping myself tighter in my night gown and trying to straighten my hair at the same time. Good thing I didn’t run out half naked, as I sometimes did during summer.  
„I am your bodyguard now,“ Izk announced joyfully, „I will be accompanying you at all times from now on.“  
I felt an urge to hit him in his hairy ear.  
„Get out of here right away.“  
„Sorry, my lady, I can't. I have orders.“  
„Orders? By whom?“ I asked, already knowing the answer.  
„By the Capt'n!“ Izk confirmed my thoughts.  
„Listen, I don't care what your captain told you, if you don't leave me this instant, I'll hurt you very badly, I swear.“  
Izk snorted.  
„Not as badly as Capt'n will, if I do leave you and something happens. Sorry, my lady, but you are less scary than Zarkon, so I will be staying here.“   
He wiggled in the armchair a little, to show how firmly he is sitting. This looked unexpectedly funny. He is a nice guy, my brother said. Perhaps I should give it a try?  
„Get out of the armchair and go find yourself something else to sit on,“ I said and went back into my bedroom. The morning is ruined anyway, so I can just sleep for a couple hours more. When I woke up again, Izk has already arranged himself in my office. He brought another armchair and a coffee table, a console game (where did he get it?) and a heap of the most terrible chemical snacks.   
“Stay completely silent and don't distract me,” I warned him.   
It wasn't that bad, as it turned out. Izk did stay silent when he had to, and he did tell jokes when I asked him. He accompanied me to lunch and ate in silence, so that I didn't have to find excuses as why I didn't want to go with my colleagues. I even started enjoying his company.  
„How did you land in Zarkon's crew anyway?“ I asked him a couple of weeks later, when we were sitting comfortably in my office in the university, me correcting student papers, he playing his console game again.  
„Oh, I knew him from the military academy“, Izk answered casually.  
„What?“ I asked in amazement. „You were in the academy, too? But isn't it supposed to be prestigious?“   
I spat the last words out before realising what they meant, but Izk wasn’t that easily offended.  
„Oh, so you think I am not prestigious enough for such a school?“ he snorted. „No, Princess, I understand what you mean, but it is true, I was also there. I was in the landing force department. You know, where you need the least brains and the most muscle.“  
Izk grinined and paused. By that time, I already realised that he was much smarter than he made it appear, so I just ignored the last sentence.  
„Were you there during Zarkon's execution?“  
„No,“ Izk shook his head. „I was long expelled by that time.“  
„What happened?“  
„Oh, Princess, it is really all my fault. You see, when we went on liberty, others would usually go to gladiator matches, but I was foolish enough to go to clubs to dance with girls. One evening, I am sitting there with a beautiful chick, and this guy comes to us and demands that I leave my date.“ Izk sighed.  
„Such a slouchy, thin guy, and such stinky arrogance. Well, there is not much to tell, really. I hit him a couple of times, and he died. It wouldn't have been that bad, everyone saw that he attacked first, but it turned out he was our minister's son. I was expelled in no time. They went easier on me than they did with the Capt'n, I could find myself another job and go on living, but what life would that be? I wanted the thrill, the adventure! I tried working as a bouncer in a club, but everyone was on drugs there, the owner too, just everyone. It was so disgusting that I quit. So when I met a pirate scout, I went with him the same evening. And then, when Capt'n became Capt'n, I just came to him and told him I would like to join.“  
We remained silent for a while. I did feel sorry for Izk, but his naivety about the murder frightened me.  
„So Zarkon just took you in?“  
„No, he knew me already. You see, I am four years older than he, so I only knew him when he was still little, and flying the training jets. Us paratroopers and them pilots often trained together, you know. So there was this one case, when we got a new pilot, and he blew it. Instead of dropping us off at the discussed location, he ventured further towards the enemy. He wanted to help, shorten our way on foot, but it backfired: he got hit, the jet crashed and we missed the objective completely. I found him afterwards because I wanted to hit him for ruining our mission, but he was so small, and somebody else has already beaten him, he had a black eye, and our trainer demoted him for not following orders, and he looked so guilty, so I didn't find it in myself to do it. We kinda became friends, you know, in the way you can become friends with such a fiercely independent person. When I got expelled, he tried to make me enter another military school, but I was fed up with this whole system, and he was really disappointed in me, so we fought. He tried to hold me back, but I just went away. And then we met at his ship.“  
„I really can't picture Zarkon small, to be honest,“ I admitted. Izk huffed.  
„Oh, I know, right? When I saw him adult, I nearly peed my pants! Who could have known. Although he was scary when he was small, too, Princess.“  
„Oh, leave the title, Izk. Call me just Alva.“  
Izk grinned.  
„Sorry, but if I get to call you Alva before the Capt'n does, he will chop my head off.“  
„What do you mean?“ I gasped, feeling heat raise to my cheeks. Izk must have realised that he said something wrong, so his eyes twitched.  
„I mean, er, I am your bodyguard, so I am supposed to act respectfully.“  
„Oh well, I see.“ I turned away and faced my papers again. We spent the rest of the evening in awkward silence. 

Weeks passed, everything seemed to have settled down a little. I visited Alfor on weekends to help him adjust to his new role. He was doing fine, though. Too fine, as it sometimes seemed to me. He kept moaning that Zarkon tries to boss him around, but in general, he seemed quite content with his position. Remembering how he rejected it at the beginning, I was happy for him and for myself, since I didn't have to step in. As for Zarkon, I hardly ever saw him, he was constantly busy. It was until the coronation procedure that I realised what exactly he was doing.

Alfor and freshly healed Coran spent a lot of time and effort in the organisation of the coronation, and they did a wonderful job. The whole planet left their activities and settled down before their screens.  
To me, however, the coronation was a disaster. I forgot how awkward I felt if puffed up like a truffolian murangue. I suffered in the long, heavy dress that bit into every part of my body. Alfor looked what father called “happy poker face”, very polite and very chatty, but I couldn’t read anything from him. The official part was bearable, but the reception was the worst. I looked around me in boredom. Zarkon was nowhere to be seen. During the coronation procedure itself he was also absent. Weird. Shouldn’t our saviour, one of Alfor’s closest friends be there when he becomes king?  
“Where is Zarkon?” I asked when managed to catch Alfor alone.  
“We decided it was best for everyone if he stayed inside and didn’t show up for the ceremony.” Alfor answered, still smiling as if I was telling his a joke. Blood rushed to my face.   
“We decided? How could you keep him away on such an occasion? He saved your life!”  
“He said himself…”  
“I don’t care what he said; you know how he tends to get all self-sacrificing for the greater good. You should have insisted on him coming if you were a true friend!”  
“Alva, would you mind behaving like a decent part of the family? Remember, we are being looked at!” Alfor was still smiling, although the corners of his lips froze.  
“And you call me a good politician?” I asked in disbelief.  
“I am not harming anyone.” Alfor’s voice was now firm. “I am merely thinking about my people. The ceremony is being transmitted; my subjects don’t need to be reminded of assaults during this happy procedure. If Zarkon’s pride cannot take this small pinch, he is not a good advisor.”  
“He saved you during those assaults!” I gasped, but Alfor already turned towards a small elderly lady.  
And he is your friend, not your advisor, I thought to myself. It took me all my self-control not to storm out of the hall immediately. I talked here and there, and then slid away when a suitable moment appeared.  
I knew where Zarkon’s study was, but I never went inside before. The room was very small and so dark by contrast with the hall that I first had to stop in order to let my eyes adjust to the dim light.  
“Good evening, Princess,” Zarkon said, and I jumped, not having seen him. “Please, sit down.”  
He stood up and pulled the chair towards me. I didn’t want to sit, though.  
“Alfor is an idiot and a traitor. You need to come to the coronation this instant. Your place is there, you have to be honoured as our saviour that you are. Why did you agree to sit here in a hole like a rat?” I was so angry that I had to stop speaking and take a deep breath. Zarkon was looking down at me with what seemed like tenderness.  
“Oh Princess, your care makes me the happiest person in the world. But you worry in vain. The decision for me to stay back was my own. It makes no sense for me to appear at the party. I am not the best talker and dancer, and there is a lot work to do.”  
Zarkon returned to his table and sat down. Like all furniture, it was too small for his giant body, so it looked as if a grown-up sat down at a child’s table. They couldn’t even find his proper place to work, I though, feeling the anger return.  
“This is not just a party. This party honours the new king and everyone who helped him become one. It is for everyone who is important. If the king is an asshole, it doesn’t mean you are not important!”  
Zarkon kept smiling, his eyes fixed on me.  
“You say things that make one melt into a puddle. Did Alfor send you to sweeten my loneliness?”  
“No, he didn’t and don’t change the topic!” I exclaimed, but still, his compliment warmed my heart.  
“Well, if you wish. You speak of importance. Parties are not the king’s job and they are not important. If Alfor wishes to show off, he can, of course do it. But the important work happens here,” he pointed at the papers on his desk. “The important decisions are being made here. The important ideas are born and forged here. Therefore, right now, I am the most important person in the castle, because I am working. And Alfor should better be here tomorrow, because if he wants to be a good king, he needs to do important work, even if it seems boring.”  
So that’s what Alfor means by being bossed around, I thought. I came closer and looked in the papers, but I couldn’t figure what they were.  
“What are you doing exactly?” I asked, picking one of the thick folders. It contained endless rows of numbers.  
“Well, right now I am still cleaning up the mess that was left behind your father. Neither he nor Coran’s father seemed to be quite careful with documentation; and although I am a stranger, I already figured out a couple of cases where their negligence has been used for private benefit by their subjects. I am sure that with time there will be much more.”  
I whistled.   
“Wow, you are sure proficient with all these heaps,” I said. Zarkon’s white teeth sparkled in the semi-darkness.  
“Well, your highness, you seem to be forgetting that before becoming I pirate, I was an almost graduated lawyer. I had less than two years before I would be considered mature enough to start working. Finding crimes in such files is my daily routine.”  
I laughed, feeling happy the way only he could make me.  
“Oh, Mr. Lawyer, didn’t recognize you in these clothes!”  
“By the way, since we are at the subject of papers,” Zarkon dug a thick folder out of one stack. The folder had a big golden symbol of our university on its cover.   
“This is your application for a centrifugal engine. It has been submitted over a week later than due, lacks two attachments, and has at least a dozen typos. According to the information server, there are thirty-two other applications for the same centrifugal engine from other faculties. In my opinion, considering the strong competition, all of the above faults will prevent you from getting the access you want.”  
I felt my face burn with embarrassment. I hated paperwork and was really bad at it, but in Zarkon’s mouth it sounded especially horrible.  
“Moreover, if you are overdue, you should have sent the form 2FD, not the 2FF, as you did. This is a formal mistake, the will surely use it to sort your application out completely.”  
This was too much.  
“Give it here!” I snapped. “It is none of your business anyway. I just needed it approved and forwarded. It isn’t your job to check it and then mock me!”  
Zarkon seemed surprised and angered.  
“Mock you? I am trying to be helpful! Here, I found the form for you and filled it out; you only need to sign it. And I also gathered the missing attachments that you forgot. Although you are right, this isn’t my business, I could have just forwarded it, and you would have had to wait another half a decapheeb for the next chance!”  
Zarkon pushed the form angrily towards me. I took a look: it was filled in carefully and completely. Zarkon also rewrote my motivation in a simpler way. I felt ashamed for my outburst.   
“I am sorry, Zarkon, this is awesome. Thank you for your help.”  
“No, it's my fault,” he answered, softening immediately. “I shouldn't have been telling it so arrogantly.”  
“I am so embarrassed of myself that I didn't manage to fill the other one out properly.”  
“You do amazing things that require true talent and understanding of the matter. This paperwork is trivial; it only needs a little time and concentration. When I tried to read your one of your articles, I couldn't move past the first paragraph without a dictionary. You simply don’t have enough energy to spend on every little detail.”  
I was speechless, not used to such compliments from him. I leaned against the table, so we were now really close, so that I felt the heat coming from his body. Now that he was sitting and I standing, our heads were at the same level and I couldn't take my eyes of his face. He never seemed more attractive to me than that evening.  
“Well, other professors manage…” I mumbled.  
“Other professors don’t lead such an active scientific life. From what I could figure, they just sit there like mummified weblums.”  
I laughed again. Zarkon managed to express my own impression of our professors in such a precise manner that it was hardy possible to add something. We stayed silent for a while.  
“Do you still play harp?” he asked.   
I shook my head.  
“No, I couldn’t make myself. You see, after you were exiled, I somehow forgot everything that happened, but playing felt wrong, so I stopped. And after I remembered, I also most of my skill.”  
Zarkon frowned.  
“What do you mean forgot?”  
I already opened my mouth to tell him every bit of what I experienced through these years, when Alfor walked in. Zarkon’s face changed immediately, as if a clam shut its shell.  
“Guys, Zarkon, I am feeling bad about not having you around. Come, join me, please. I feel like an asshole.”  
“You are an asshole,” I commented under my breath, by Zarkon rolled his eyes.  
“Would you two cut me some slack? Your attempts at making me happy against my will are ridiculous. What will I even do there? And you should be here working with me, not showing off at parties.”  
“Attending parties is a king's work” Alfor said solemnly. Zarkon grinned.  
“How come you didn't yet sign your sister's application, Mr.Workaholic? And I am very surprised she doesn't yet have the “researcher of the crown” status. What is the point in being from royal family if you don't use the privileges?”  
“This would be unfair,” me and Alfor said together. Zarkon rolled his eyes.   
“Are you kidding me? What fairness are talking of, this is your sister! Don’t you want to help her over everyone else?”  
“This is not how democracy works, Zarkon!” Alfor exclaimed, frowning.   
“Isn’t this how family works?” Zarkon retorted, looking at me.  
I didn’t know what to say. Of course I wanted the status, it would make many formalities easier, but I would never tried to achieve it over someone’s head, and I didn’t want to fight over it now. Luckily, I didn’t have to answer. Izk barged through the door and declared that he was hungry and demanded a dinner.  
“Let us go somewhere and eat in peace, without having to think about cameras,” Alfor suggested, and we all agreed with relief.


End file.
